In My Blood {FIN}

33.

It's Wednesday. Hump day! Summer has begun and it showed. Right now, we were all sitting in the living room doing our own thing, but together. Parallel play, if you will. Jay is playing his PlayStation, Egypt is on his iPad, London has Jay's phone, and I'm on my phone.

It was peaceful. The only one making noise was Jay speaking into his headset with his friends. I was sitting next to him like usual. I still wasn't feeling well and it honestly seemed to be getting worse.

First I had an uneasy/nauseous type of feeling in my stomach, but it soon turned to pain. It felt like I had cramps all the time. No matter how much pain medicine I took. And Jay was always on my back when it came to the medicine (for obvious reasons.)

I've been having these cramps for weeks and my period never came, so I'm confused.

"BB, I'm hungry." London said and got up from the floor to sit closer to me on the couch.

"Would you like a snack?" I asked touching her hair.

"Yes, please."

"I want a snack too!" Egypt said from the other side of the room.

"Go ahead. Chips, fruit, pudding, raisin bread... whatever you find, as long as it's not moving, you can eat it."

"Aye, and bring me a bag of Fritos and some fruit snacks!" Jay yelled out.

"And you know the fruit snacks are for them, right?" I questioned.

"And you know I don't care, right?"

I pinched him playfully. "You are so annoying." Egypt brought him his nasty Fritos and a pack of fruit snacks before running back off to the kitchen.

Jay is the only person I ever met that willingly ate the Fritos out of the variety pack. Usually they were the last chips left, but dealing with him they'd be the first ones gone.

He cracked the bag open and offered me one, I politely declined.

"You still don't feel well?" He asked and I shook my head. "Baby, what do you want to do?"

"It will pass. I'm fine." I said glancing at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, baby. I'm fine. Can I have a fruit snack?" He gave me the death stare and lectured me saying 'if I wanted some I should've got my own' and 'I thought these were for the kids,' but still shared with me. So it was pointless to do all of that talking.

•

If I could stay in this moment, I would, forever
If I could live in this moment, said I would, forever
Real shit, real shit
If I could give you the stars baby, I would
Wanna last and share in this moment baby
And I would give you the stars baby, I would

I could honestly say that I was in love with Jay. Not only did I love him for the man he is becoming, I'm in love with the way he treats me and the way he treats my son. The strength, confidence, and beauty he exudes. He was so well rounded now.

We both had our issues and baggage, but the journey makes the destination that much brighter. I honestly was a firm believer of the ends justifying the means. He made me better, I always hope I'm doing the same for him.

Life was good... Right now. Other than not feeling well, I was happy. Nothing was bringing me down because I was just feeling happy.

I loved London, it was almost as if I had birthed her myself. I could see myself doing this for the rest of my life... with them.