Let Me In (book 2 - follow on from Abandoned)

6

Jane's PoV

I hadn't intended to get caught up in singing that song, but opening my eyes and finding Maura standing watching me and silently crying broke me just that little bit more. I found the strength that I needed to be able to wipe her tears away. I would be lying to myself if I didn't say it was nice to be able to feel her skin beneath my touch.

Gathering the drinks and placing them on the table in the booth she has chosen to sit at. I change the music turning it up slightly as Lee just smiles at me and nods grabbing my stuff I make my way back to Maura and slide in on the seat opposite her watching her nurse her glass of wine.

I pour myself a glass of whiskey and pull a cigarette out it's only when I have lit it and take a drag she looks up at me frowning.

"Don't give me that look Maur.." I say tilting my head up towards the ceiling and exhaling the smoke. Maura opens her mouth to say something but chooses better of it.

"Maura..." I quietly say swirling the whisky around my glass

"Yes Jane?" She answers watching me

"Do you.. do you think we can talk?" I ask

"We can talk any time Jane, you know that.. what do you want to talk about?" Maura says softly not breaking her gaze

"You might not want to talk about it..."

"Ask me Jane. Ask me what I know you still question, what I should of answered right from the start."

"What.. what actually happened that night?" I very quietly ask re filling my glass

Maura doesn't answer me at first however she looks around the room before sliding around the booth so that she is sat next to me.

"I went outside with Mark because I was too hot in the hall. He hit Mark over the head with a bat, then came at me. He hit me Jane repeatedly, tore my clothes off me." She takes a breath picking her own wine up as I start to rub my scars once more putting more pressure on them to try to keep myself grounded. I sit in silence watching my hands waiting to see if she will continue, to my surprise she does

"I was pinned down, he was going to rape me but something changed and he didn't, I remember him telling me it wasn't actually me that he wanted before back handing me to the face and then I remember waking up panicking and pushing you away. You know the rest after that, and I should never have blamed you Jane, I should never have told you to go." Maura finishes explaining.

A sense of relief runs through me knowing finally that she was never actually raped. That she didn't have to go through that, even though what she went through was traumatic.

"I'm relieved you weren't raped Maura.. what happened should never have happened, but I'm glad that nothing else did, it's not nice trying to deal with that" I stop myself instantly realising what came out of my mouth scolding myself internally as Maura's eyes go wide.

"Jane..." she carefully approaches only I don't answer her I just rub my scars a lot harder intentionally causing myself pain.

"Sweetie.. please look at me.." she quietly pleads I lift my head and hold her eye, she glances towards my hands before looking at me once again as if asking for permission she slowly reaches out towards them I take a deep breath and close my eyes as her fingers slowly touch mine lifting my hand out of the other as air hits my now raw scar I gasp.

"Honey.. your making them sore.. slowly breathe.. do you want me to let go?" She quietly whispers in to my ear I shake my head really not wanting her to let my hand go lightly she starts to run her thumb over my knuckles as I begin to relax and calm myself.