Let Me In (book 2 - follow on from Abandoned)

20

Jane's PoV

Headed to work, need to get something out, hope you slept well whilst I'm gone. Thank you Maura. For everything. Xx

Letting the Spyder roll off the drive and down the street before I start it so I don't wake anyone up, with not having my bike I head off towards the school, waking in Maura's arms filled me with so much emotion and I still haven't sorted my head out from the weekend, but I woke with music in my head and I need to get it out I need it recording. Pulling up at the school the clock in the car reads 457am.
I hope Maur isn't pissed if she wakes, I mean I did leave her a note.

Whilst the Mac in the studio loads I head to my office and make a coffee I'm going to need a lot of coffee my body feels weak but I have to keep going, I have to keep going for Maura.

Getting the instrumentals recorded and playing exactly how they should be I hope my voice is still as raspy as it was yesterday, but I know I need to pull on my emotions more to be able to get it sounding exactly how I want.

What I hadn't realised is that I spent so much time on the instrumentals getting them damn right perfect and having the amps turned loud I missed the time, and I now have an audience crowded around the door and in the corridor of my department, Maura, Sam, Mark and Ste all standing closest to the door with students and faculty surrounding them.

"Ms Rizzoli, would you like me to clear them before the bell or are you good?" Mark asks trying to assess my mood.

Shaking my head at him my eyes lock to Maura and I can see the anticipation she's holding not knowing what I'm going to be singing, I mean shit the instrumental is pretty slow and kinda dark but it will make sense to her. Turning the mic on in the middle of the room I shrug my jacket off throwing it over the piano as I put a delay on the play whilst pressing record giving myself enough time to let everything swim through me

I wish I knew how It would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
I wish I could say all the things that I should say
Say 'em loud, say 'em clear
For the whole round world to hear

I wish I could share all the love that's in my heart
Remove all the bars that keep us apart
I wish you could know what it means to be me
Then you'd see and agree that every man should be free

I wish I knew how It would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
I wish I could say all the things that I should say
Say 'em loud, say 'em clear
For the whole round world to hear

Turning my back to everyone as I feel a tear escape my eye when I finished singing I step forward and stop the instrumental changing the setting so that it continues to record.

Sitting in front of the piano as the bell rings out over head I see the students and faculty members moving however Maura, Ste, Sam and Mark all stay frozen to the spot as I begin to play, finally giving it up and channeling everything letting it all out the only way I know how through music. If I don't let this out now that my wall is already crumbling then I will never be able to allow myself to try and accept that it happened and get back up.

Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day and all night
I wander the halls along the walls
And under my breath I say to myself
"I need fuel to take flight"

And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves
In the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves
In the blue of my oblivion

Is that why they call me a sullen girl, sullen girl
They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
But he washed me 'shore
And he took my pearl
And left an empty shell of me