Let Me In (book 2 - follow on from Abandoned)

33

Jane's PoV

Jerking myself up once again grasping my side calming myself down as my fingers trail the scar over my abdomen fresh images in my mind of the day my father stabbed me. It's never the action that seems to haunt me, it's always his words, him telling me that he would kill Maura.

Looking over at her curled up sound asleep I can't help but feel happy that I haven't woken her up. What Maura doesn't know is that since Saturday for the last two nights, I've had the same nightmares if it's not what my father said then it's loosing her, her telling me to go. After they wake me I either lay awake for the rest of the night telling her I haven't been up long or I venture and sit downstairs filling my notebooks full, doing the same thing when she asks.

Only tonight wandering around downstairs isn't helping me, and I've been doing it for over two hours. Running through my nightmares and my flashbacks only seems to bring more and with it comes the self doubt.

It's getting harder and harder to block it out, it's seeping in and I can't stop it. That demon is seeping out of the dark, wrapping its claws around me pulling me back in with it ready to maul me.

I need to play, I don't want to wake her up but I need to lose myself. I've got to find comfort and it's the only way I know how. I'm sure she won't be that pissed as its now nearly 6am. I settle in front of my piano not even bothering with a light at all.

As soon as my fingers find the keys I play as softly as I can allowing each and every note to feed me. As if they are my oxygen, it's my peace, it's.. it's therapy and I need it to survive.

Every note, every instrument, every piece of music is my drug. And I am it's addict. There is absolutely no doubting that.

Right now, this addict needs her fix and I need it more than what it's giving me now. My drug needs to consume me and that is exactly what I will allow it to do. I need that escape. I crave it. I crave it because sometimes, just sometimes I'm able to push and leave the demon there, unless he decides to sit and wait having a front row seat to my torment. Which lately it's exactly what he's been doing. Sitting watching, waiting and toying with me.

Maura's PoV

Notes filling the air and reaching my ears draws me out from my sleep. Stretching out before even opening my eyes I listen to the captivating music filtering up me, filling me with such a mixed bunch of emotions right now.

It's soft and gentle as I come around more running my hand over the sheets beside me a frown forms across my face once I find them stone cold.

Which makes me question yet again exactly what time Jane got up, I know that she isn't being honest with me when I ask her what time she's been getting up, the bed sheets don't lie and they're always cold when I've been finding her downstairs. The decision I made not to push her by asking her further, because i'm still holding on to the hope that she will open up to me about it on her own, is fast becoming a decision I regret.

Slipping out of bed and finding one of her hoodies I pull it on as the piano gets louder as Jane slips more. The louder she plays the more it's apparent that she's trying to hold whatever it is inside of her. Making a coffee as I lean against the counter Jane finally gives and allows it out.

Wake up, stay with me
Through the flood and through the fear
Right now I need you here
I need you to stay strong
To remind me where I came from
And where I belong
So wake up and stay with me