Break me to build me

chapter 8

LIAM´S POV

Me, Jonah and Calum walked in to a war, and I could guess that it was between Harry and Niall because well when don’t they fight…

“okay… what happened?” I ask Justin as h watch like Niall soon will be dead or something.

“I don’t know the y screamed like one word to each other and then they were on the floor and wrestled… I don’t know…” haha this is to fun, I know what they said.

“what exactly did they say?” I asked him cause I know that he doesn’t know what it means but if we say it like this, it means simply sex! It means sex okay.

“they said like frickle frakle? and like Niall said like Louis and Harry frickle freckle all day… or something like that to your uncle?” I was on verge of tears because that’s very funny he doesn’t know what it means and now me and Jonah was almost dying in laughter.

“what!? What did I say?”

“y-you know that it means sex right?” I said to him and he got beat red in his face as he looked at his feet’s and shakes his head in a no.

“oh man you really don’t know much about this gang!” Jonah exclaimed when he had calmed down.

“don’t you worry about them they will stop in a while… I don’t really  know what to say when  it comes to Niall and Harry!  Their like small kids that fights with each other when one of them steals the others candy, it’s like my siblings and I when I lived back home…” I said as harry and Niall started to cool down and glare at each other as they stomp to their boyfriends ad hug them from behind and glare once again. I also want to have someone that wants to hold me and be jealous over, but no… I am left alone to be this gay kid that everyone besides my friends look weird at… I´m the one that everyone turns there back at and sometimes I start to wonder if I really am gay… maybe if I go straight people will think different about me… Justin looks worrinedly at me and I think that he knows what I am thinking about because the thing he say after is like really what I want to say to someone someday.

“sorry if me and Niall are kind of touchy touchy…” he said and smiled sadly at me I smiled back.

“you two are in love I shouldn’t really care because I know for a fact that I will live my whole life alone and that’s fine for me…” lie. I lied! Why? I don’t know…

“hey, hey Liam you are not going to live alone! you are going to find someone and live happy ever after! Okay!” Jonah said as he bring me into a hug.

“hey don’t cry!” he says as he hug me even tighter, I reach up to the unwanted tears that I didn’t know I had…

“Jonah?”

“yeah?”

“am I a freak?” he push me back and stare at me with anger in his eyes.

“why the hell do you think that?! You are perfect just like the kid I have known since you were born! Don’t ever say that! Why did you even ask that?”

“you have Calum over there and Harry has Louis and Niall has Justin and Rob has Lucas! I have nobody! I am so misunderstood and nobody can see anything good in me…”

“why?”

“I don’t know… I just don’t really know, no guy that I have like talked to wants to talk to me ever again… they hate me when I say hi, and when I say hi and smile they fake a smile and hesitate to say hi…”

“you are not a freak and I don’t really know why they don’t like you but I just guess that you just find the wrong person to talk to, or maybe they are just shy? I don’t know but what I know is that I would never want to change you! I love you and nothing can change that!” that warmed my heart to know that it is someone in my family to actually care about me, but I can’t get this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I will never find someone to tell all my secrets to and be called babe or something. I just have to wait and see.

“thanks” I walked over to one of the couches because I knew that I could sleep now because well it was like one in the middle of the night and we would stay here till tomorrow because we will be working here tomorrow, and Jonah and Calum said that they could stay and help to. So I´m going in to dream land now…