Break me to build me

chaper 11

LIAM´S POV

So today I´m going out with Jonah and calum and they said that I should take someone with me… I have nobody, or I have Zayn or do I? but if he even was my friend he isn’t more so… and we just met! Why do I always seem to push people away…

NIALL´S POV

“I COULD HAVE KILLED THAT GUY!!!” I sob in my brothers shoulder

“no, it wasn’t you it was someone else that trigged you when you were drunk! You didn’t do anything and it’s easy to just stop then it will never happen again.” He speaks in my ear as he franticly streak my hair as he sniffled

“y-you don’t understand! That shouldn’t have happened! I shouldn’t even be here I should be in a psyche house! Not here I´m a danger to you guys and my family! I´m leaving!” I stand up and start making my way to my house and when I come in through the door I remember that Justin is still here but I have to get out of here and find somewhere save and secluded where nobody could find me and where I could not hurt anyone!

“Niall?” Justin asked I assume that he was in the kitchen so I walked up to my room and packed a bag I saw the picture that me and Justin too on the beach I took that to and rushed down I was almost out the door when Justin screamed

“wait!!” he pulled me in and slammed the door closed and stared at me and I guess that he got a puzzled expression on his face he saw the dried tears on my cheeks, he reached out to hug me but I flinched away and looked down because I didn’t want to see the hurt expression that I technically feel without looking…

“don’t touch me…”

“w-what is this?”

“I could have killed a man today… I don’t want to be near anyone and especially not you I don’t want to hurt anyone! So just stay away from me!”

“N-Niall we can work this out! You don’t need to go!”

“you don’t need me you need someone that’s stable! You need someone that won’t kill you in your sleep!”

“I need you I can’t live without you!”  

“it might seem like that right now… but trust me on this one, you won’t want me to be near you in a week!” I screamed at him and he started to cry and it really took me everything to hug him and kiss him and say that I won’t leave but I knew that I was doing the right thing here…

“bye, Justin…”

“no… Niall you can’t leave me!? you know that you love me so why would you leave me!” he grabbed my wrist and brought me in for a hug I resisted to hug back and started to fight hi of off me as I walked out from the house the last sight I got from Justin was his tear stained face and his red eyes looking right through my soul… why this felt so wrong? Because I was leaving the love of my life… 

JUSTIN´S POV

He… just… left… me…

I screamed as he slammed the door closed I dropped down on the floor and sobbed as if the earth was going under, my life was destroyed in a matter of seconds…

I sat up and crawled over to the wall and sat down… what would you do if the love of your life disappeared through the door that you were so happy to enter every single day that now will be a cry hole…

“I w-was thinkin about you”

“Thinkin b-bout me”

“Thinkin a-about us”

“What we g-gunna be”

What would have happened if he had stayed with me and loved me and not be afraid for hurting me it had never happened I gripped my hair and slide down the wall why would he think that one mistake would change the way I feel about him and that he would do it again… I lay down with a picture of me and Niall on the picture we are looking so happy…