Break me to build me

chapter 18

LIAM´S POV

okay so I´m on my way over to the Hilton hotel and let me tell you, I´m nervous! Think if he's not where he said he was going to be! Think if he didn’t want to be with me! think if change his mind and thought that I was shit and that he shouldn’t really love me and now when I think about it he doesn’t really love me… I can actually tell you that he doesn’t because, come on! Who would love me?

I am walking down the part of London where the street is literally packed! it´s people everywhere! I can see the Hilton hotel from where I am walking and I always thought that it was persons that had tons with money that was staying there, but I guess that I was wrong… my family is from the rich kind and she… kind of own Hilton hotel… and that’s throwing me off is that Zayn is staying there! I´m not judging but I don’t think that he has the money to live on such a 'fancy´ hotel, but maybe he's from a rich family too? Maybe?

Si now I´m outside the hotel and looking up because, fuck! Its huge! I wouldn’t want to live in the room like all the way up there! It’s like 50 feet up! And me and height… not so good… so I walked in and asked about Zayn Malik, she pointed and said that he was waiting for me to arrive.

“thank you” I smiled at her and she smiled back. I made my way over to the big steel doors that I thought was a hell of a cool thing to have in this modern hotel! Even if it’s my mum that bought this place she hasn’t done anything more than taking money and giving money to the workers and of course the bills, but other than that like design she hasn’t done anything! I walk past an amount of chairs and tables and finally walk up to a small speech scene and on it stands the moron that I have learned to trust, Zayn Malik.

“hi”

“hi” I say back and start to walk over to the staircase that takes me up to him, I walk up and start to walk over to him but he starts to back from me and I speed up as he does.

“are you afraid? Or is it a game?” he comes up to me an gives me a paper, I unfold it and look up to look at Zayn but he isn’t there, I read the note

´anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new´

I smile because I know that its true and that I should actually be happy because of my flaws and mistakes. I walk behind the big red curtains and see that it’s a note laying on a chair that’s randomly sitting in the middle of this backstage room.

´sense of worth and self-confidence comes when you accept yourself as you are. Not when you’re trying to be what other people expect´

 Okay I have been thinking about what other thinks about me and let me tell you I don’t have the best thought about myself when I think that… and maybe with Zayn with me by my side I will be able to see the good in myself. I walk out to the parking lot and when I look up I see a giant tree where there where all sort of different colored bottles and what it looked like it was some kind of paper in taped to them, I smiled and chuckled and knew that I had to climb and get them.

The first one I reached out for had a flower to.

´it’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not´ I smile and a small tear makes it way down my left cheek.soon enough A Sky Full Of Stars by Coldplay starts to play in a low tune and it had my tears to break, single tears makes their way down my cheeks as I climb higher with my favorite song playing. I reached out for one more.

´the thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of being yourself´

I smiled and looked around and reached for a pink bottle.

´so many people thinks you're awesome and special and worthwhile. Why would you listen to the one person who thinks you're not?´

I stare at the paper with adoration, Zayn has really thought about making me cry. Because I don’t think another person has cared about me so much before and it kind of scares me sometimes because never before ,not even my parents have cared about me so much and without me saying it he knew my favorite song…

And the tears aren’t in any control when I was done reading all of the small sweet paper bits. I climbed down and almost lost my heart because someone's arms came around my waist and I felt a light kiss in between my shoulder blades. I leaned my head back so that my it was on his shoulder, I looked up at him and he smiled down at me.

“Zayn”

“yeah my love?” he smiled down at me and stroke with his thumb at the dried tears on my cheek.

“Thank you…” he smiled and lean in so that his breath hit my lips.

“do you want me to love you?”