Break me to build me

chapter 19

NIALL´S POV

I am missing him so much! I love him! But what if I hurt him in the long run? I would never forgive myself…

I´m on my way home. I´m on my way to Ireland. I´m on my way to the place I don’t really like because I got bullied over there, but I´m going to move in to some apartment and never meet my friend ever again… that’s what I´m going to do! I´m going isolate myself so I can’t speak to anyone I´m going to have my phone because I just need something to update on how they’re doing, and if they even care about me anymore… I hope not, you are now wondering “why the fuck aren’t you bothered about the others feelings?!” I´m saying this to you, I´m thinking about their feeling I just can’t get it to my mind that they actually would miss me… I´m a monster! I almost killed a man and if anything happened to my friends… I wouldn’t stand living my life, I would actually give up and just, die.

HARRY´S POV

I´m lying on the couch with Louis spooning me, I know that we have our times ad that we can fight quite much but, he promised that he would be a better boyfriend and he hasn’t gone out for a party in three days and to me is that really big step. But I can´t trust him, jet.

I sit up and look around for the search of my boxers, I look to the spot where I almost every time we have sex on the sofa throw them to. Their they were! They were lazily thrown over a chair. I start standing up but get pulled down by two arms around my waist.

“babe? I´m sorry for not talking the problem out with you instead of silence you with sex…” he says with his raspy morning voice.

“it’s okay Louis, it really is, I love you but I don’t trust you anymore, but that’s just something we have to work on! We have to talk to each other, we need to work with each other, to make it work” I glance back at his sleepy form.

“yeah I know that you don’t trust me and all that, but you need to know that I really try to understand all the complicated shit that is going through my head. I have never thought about a relationship and now I´m settling down with you, and its fucking scary! I can’t go a day without thinking about you, and only you! You need to understand that my heart belongs to you, and only you, nobody else’s” I smile at him as already knew all of that but I still don’t trust him fully, but eventually I think I will.

“I love you” I lean down and kiss him on the cheek and stand up to get my boxers. He pout but sit up and look around the room to see that his boxers where over the TV.

“I think that we need to bring lucky back, we haven’t seen him in weeks!” he smiled up at me as I made my way over to him.

“yeah, we actually need, but do you think that he could live with us when we have this problems of ours?” I look questioningly at him.

“yeah I think, because we are actually trying to change, or I am trying to change, I am really trying.”

“yeah, okay! we are going in an hour in that chase! He must be so lonely, cause I know that my mum only put him in his cage and go to work and doesn’t even hug him dogbye!”

“that indeed is true, so let’s have a shower and clean of the sofa first!” he smiles up at me as I smile back.

“so let’s do it!”

“oooooh are we gonna do it?” he wiggle his eyebrows at me

“no not that your asshole… I meant shower not shower sex or anything, or if you want that I would be more than happy to say that I´m horny and I need you!” I scream at him as I sprint of to the bathroom, I hear footsteps coming closer and a second later I feel two strong arms go around my waist and small kisses running down my neck.