Break me to build me

chapter 14

LIAM´S POV

I know I shouldn’t have ran away I know I should have stayed and ask why he kissed me, but as always I´m so weak I can’t even stand up for things that might make me lose people in my life but I just keep my distance and then I can’t feel love for someone cause if I do they leave. “why the fuck did I do this I should never had gotten to know that fucker… he has burned himself stuck in my head I can’t get him out!!!” I grip my hair and slide down the kitchen wall as I sob uncontrollably as I bring my knees up to my chest. I hear a knock but ignore it because I don’t want to take a chance and find him standing there… I can hear a lot of knocks and in the end a thud that shakes the whole door and I just sit there and stare at the mahogany colored door and after a couple thuds a shout is heard and a lot of shouting right after I wasn’t listening and I didn’t care… I grip the side of the kitchen door and slam it close as I make my way over to the couch I lay down and close my eyes cause I knew that I wasn’t going to sleep tonight…

ZAYN´S POV

I slam at his door once again but he doesn’t open… I know he's in there because the doorman said that he had run up to the elevator and supposedly run back to his apartment… so here I am standing outside his door and banging and slamming my shoulder in to it… I don’t know why I´m trying to typically get in to his flat I think that I just want to… spill my heart out to him! I don’t know how I can feel like this for a person that I literally met like three day ago! I just feel like I´m the one that should be his, the one that wake him up to eat breakfast, the that hugs him when he's down… that’s why, that’s why I´m sitting here and banging on the door…

He isn’t going to come I know that but I can always think that he might… three men walks up to me and yells

“hey! Don’t make such fucking noises up here! its living people here and you can’t just stand there and bang on this person door!!”

“I have a reason to be here and bang on the door but I can leave if you think that I won’t have a meaning to be here or that my reason is to boring or uninteresting!” I screamed back at them, they didn’t say anything for a while until the smaller guy came up to me and smiled

“you can tell me and then I can decide if it is a reason to sit here and bang on the door that obviously not going to open!” he smiled and sat down by my side. i smiled at him and started.

“well the person in here is kind of my only chance to feel happy… he, I´m gay so if you have a pr-“

“no I don’t care if your gay or not! Gay is okay!” he smiled at me.

“okay, so where was I… oh yeah he is kind of the only thing in this damn world that possible can fix me…. I have bipolar and well if I get irritated I kind of get an outburst and well I´m not really accepted because of that… and well I think he doesn’t know it but he does something to me I stop thinking about my problems and all that, so whenever he touch me it feels like my whole body stops functioning and my brain says love, love, love, love, love, you understand?”

“yeah”

“okay, so, today we went to a restaurant because his cousin invited him and he didn’t have any other friend or someone he knew to come with him, so he asked me and I said yes, so when we got there his cousin and his fiancé said that we should kiss and as dumb as I am I kiss him… so here I am trying to get in to his flat to speak to him…”

“wow… man you got some shit going on up in here! okay I understand that you need to get in to this person, so I´m going to be nice and get the keys that will lock his door up so you can get in. Wait here I’ll be back!” he sprung up from where he was seated and started to drag the other two lads with him and he was saying something to the others but I didn’t catch it.

--

Several minutes later the man was opening the door and I thanked him and hugged him and the others, I walked in to the flat and it wasn’t really something special just an ordinarily sent of Liam, apple and cinnamon. I walk over to the kitchen door and creek it open I look around and can’t see anything except a very clean kitchen, I walk further in and see Liam laying on a blue couch and a blanket over his feet. I chuckled but I knew I had to 'spill my heart out´  for him and for that to happen I need to wake the sleeping beauty up… such a shame. I sat beside him on the couch and smiled as I looked at his sleeping form. I nudged him as I stroked him on his face.

“Liam…” I poked at him once again he stirred but didn’t wake up so I nudged him once again.

“Liam you have to wake up… I need to talk to you…”

“two more minutes mum…” he whispered, I chuckled as he slurred the words out.

“I´m not your mum and no you can’t sleep right now, I really need to talk to you… I´m Zayn.” he opened his eyes and stared at me in disbelief

“Zayn…”