Break me to build me

chapter 15

HARRY´S

“Louis? Why?” I ask as we sit down on the mattress after a huge fight that we often have these days…

“I-I-I you know I can’t hold myself!” he confronts me I cry out in frustration.

“why do you have to do that when you have me you know I can do it every time you ask and I thought that you liked me enough to stop the addiction, but apparently not…”

“I can’t stop! You know I can’t stop and you know that you are enough but I have it in my system and you know that I can’t get it out!”

“then why the fuck do you go to that fucking club, you know what all of the clubs if you don’t want to do it!”

“I-I-I don’t know… I kind of like more muscular men… but! But you have everything else! So I love you but I can’t please myself with just you… I need more!!” I looked at him in disbelief as he stood there and explained for me why he was sleeping with other men and then coming back home and want from me too…

“I´m saying this because I love you! I want you to stop! I want you to kind of just feel things for me! I can work out I-I can do everything you want me to do but if you keep this shit up any longer I can’t take it any longer, I really need you to stop! Can you do that for me?”

“I-I-I can try…” he stepped closer to me as I reached out for his hand, I wasn’t happy haven’t been about this problem we are having but I know that someday he will settle down and maybe not with me maybe with someone else but for now I just want to be with him not him being with other men… I just want my Lou back…

“I promise if I want you I want you but you know that I can’t really bare myself to settle down… you know I can’t be with just one… I want to be with you, but , you have to wait this is going to take a while…” he smiled down at me I smile a fake smile and frown at me as he lean down he doesn’t kiss me he simple hugs me.

“you know I love you, I know I have to try, I know that I´m going to settle down with you sometime but right now, a sorry is the only thing I can say… sorry” he hugged me close to him as he stroked my locks and I really thought that he might think over what he was doing and that he actually cared to make and effort in to it… 

LIAM´S POV

“Zayn… what-what the fuck are you doing here!?! how the hell did you get in here!?!?!” I scream at him as I see him looking sad and down but I didn’t care because, because… I do care… I hug him and he hugs me back

“sorry” he says, but for what? I was the one to run…

“for what? You weren’t the one running away from something the persons should talk about…”

“no, no it’s my fault I should have said to you that I really like you, and that you are the only thing that actually have succeeded at taking my soul, you Liam is the only thing I can think about nowadays you are the one I want to wake up with every morning you are the only one I want to kiss! You are the only one I want to make dinner, breakfast and lunch to! I want to be with your but I  don’t know if you believe me or trust me… but this is the only thing I can do to make you understand that you are the only person on this planet that will ever take my heart! So when I say all of this I want you to think about what I said and think it trough and then you can come to me and answer this question. Don’t answer it now, will you try to make, us work? If yes come to the hotel at seven o’clock tomorrow if no don’t bother to show up… bye Liam” that’s what he said before he rushed out from my apartment and I was left alone with my feelings and that question on my mind…

“I can’t do this anymore!!!” I scream once again to nobody, I know I have to do this. I´m not going.