lights up • tvd

stefan

imagine stefan finding out about your past relationship 

♡ tw : mentions of abuse !!! please be careful and read cautiously if this subject triggers or affects you in any way ♡

you sat on stefan's bed, the soft white duvet tucked up to your waist as you scrawled messy words into your journal.

stefan and yourself had been dating for just three months now, after meeting at a bar and becoming close friends. at first you were both hiding things, but stefan had began to open up. he had told you about his past, about katherine, his relationship with his brother and most importantly: his vampirism. you were scared at first, frightened and shocked, but he helped you understand.

despite stefan's best efforts to find out more about you, you struggled to open up. your past, your last relationship was messy and cruel. you were hurt– emotionally and physically and you just weren't ready to reopen that wound yet.

your lack of ability to open up was beginning to cause problems. stefan always claimed that you knew more about him than he knew about you, that you weren't opening up and it made him want to do the same. he even once said "trust is a two way thing." you knew you were hurting him, he doubted your feelings often and you knew if you opened up those problems would be fixed.

a loud crash, followed by shouting harshly pulled you from your thoughts. you found yourself flinching, before freezing at the sudden noise. stefan and damon were arguing a lot recently– stefan didn't tell you what over. he was trying to prove a point about trust.

you chewed on your pen, listening to the harsh words exchanged between the two brothers before shutting your journal, well aware of the fact you would have to intervene.

hesitantly, you got to your feet, throwing your journal back onto the mattress. the floorboards that creaked after every step you took feeling cold under your bare skin. after opening the door, the shouting grew louder, reminding you of the incidents that happened between you and your last boyfriend. unwanted memories came flooding back, and you struggled to shake them from your head as you made your way down the stairs to find stefan and damon throwing punches at each other.

tears filled your eyes as you watched the scene, your stefan, getting hurt. "stop it! both of you, please just stop! please." you pleaded, your voice shaking as the two boys fell apart from each other. damon chuckled despite the blood dripping from his nose– which was already beginning to heal.

stefan shot you a glare for interrupting their disagreement. he was still upset at you for not talking to him, for not opening up. "stay out of this, y/n." he replied coldly, glancing back over at his brother who was looking between the two of you very carefully, he
was smirking as he did so. damon took a few quick steps towards you. you immediately stepped back "don't come near me, don't touch me." you had been warned about damon's behaviour.

"sensitive one, huh stef?" damon chuckled to himself, glancing back at his brother before using his speed to step closer so the two of you could face each other, so he could look into your eyes. you gasped as his hand grabbed your face. "i suppose you would hate it if i did this." your skin crawled at the feeling of him pressed against you, and you could feel your eyes fill with tears that stung as he continued to readjust the position of his hand before it was wrapped around your throat. his strength ensured you couldn't get away. he raised you off the ground and held you there.

stefan watched, panicked and shocked at the lengths his brother would go to to piss him off "don't touch her damon! let her go." he sped over to the two of you, grabbing damon and pushing him across the room. you fell to the floor, gasping for air as purple bruises began to form on your neck. the two of them were fighting again, throwing punches and kicks, pushing each other across the room. and although you were weak, you managed to remove yourself from the room, running from the living room to outside.

the cold air hit your skin, immediately forming goosebumps over your bare arms and legs. you were dressed only in stefan's shirt and a pair of shorts– and the weather outside was near to freezing. but it wasn't bothering you, your frantic thoughts and the physical pain you were in were the only things bothering you.

you shuddered, sitting against the front wall with your head leant on the brickwork. you had to tell stefan the truth. you had to. it was the only thing you could do to fix your relationship.

♡ ♡ ♡

you wasn't entirely sure when or how you passed out, although you guessed it was a result of the cold weather. in fact, you were only aware of the fact that you had passed out when you awoke again, pressed to the warmth of stefan's chest as he played with your hair and gently run his fingers over your bruises, the guilt of what had happened overwhelming him.

a sleepy mumble escaped your lips as you rubbed your eyes, before looking up at your boyfriend "stefan." you whispered, feeling safe and protected with his strong arms wrapped around your frame. he shushed you, kissing the top of your head and gently rocking you back and forth.

he took a deep breath before beginning to speak "i am so unbelievably sorry, y/n. i don't know what happened... one minute he was fighting me and the next he had his hand around your throat. it won't happen again." you could hear the shame in his voice as he spoke and knew how he felt about himself after what happened. you were aware that damon was to blame and not stefan, but he didn't feel that way at all.

"it won't happen again... i've heard that a few times." you whispered, leaning your head on his chest and sighing unhappily at the memories. you weren't even aware of that fact you had said it aloud until stefan pulled back to look you in the eyes, a stern look across his features. your eyes locked, and he raised his eyebrows at you.

stefan's eyebrows furrowed together as he studied your face. "please talk to me... open up to me." he took your hand in his "i'm not going to judge you, just going to listen. i need to know. we're together, y/n." you knew he wasn't going to let this go, and you didn't want to lose him. you would have to face your fear, tell him the truth.

you bit your lip nervously, looking down at your interlaced fingers. "he hit me." you spoke quietly, your voice barely a whisper as you spoke to words you had never said aloud before. "he hurt me." you added, feeling stefan's grip on your hand tighten, perhaps with anger.

stefan brought his free hand to your face, gently placing two fingers under your chin and tilting your face so you were looking into his eyes "who?" he questioned, his voice soft and understanding. he looked at you with sadness in his eyes, unable to understand what kind of monster would want to hurt his baby.

"my ex." you replied, tears filling your eyes at the thought of him. you didn't want to think of him, think of the awful things he did or the nasty words he spoke. you hated this. stefan gave you a look, a look that encouraged you to continue to speak "we were together for years. we started dating when we were barley teenagers, just kids." you paused, studying his face "and everything was perfect, until one day he got mad. he lost his temper... and before i knew it i was pinned against the wall, his hand around my throat as he spat threats at me... i couldn't breathe. damon's actions mirrored his." tears began to fall freely from your eyes as you relived the scarring memories.

stefan pulled you closer, your head leant onto his chest, tears soaking through his shirt onto his skin "he said it would never happen again, but it did. again and again and again. he hit me, and he threw things at me. he left scars..." you frowned, your hand gripping onto stefan's shirt "i thought i was the luckiest girl in the world. i thought he loved me." you whispered, stefan's hand tracing small patterns on your back as you began to sob into him.

he shushed you, pulling you onto his lap and holding you close "you're okay," he whispered, his eyes closed as he kissed your head, breathing in your scent "you're safe with me. i will always protect you."

and for once in your life you did feel safe, you did feel secure. you felt comfort when you were in his arms, you didn't feel as if it was necessary to pull away, or hide your feelings out of embarrassment or shame. stefan wasn't him, he would never be him. stefan would never hurt you, not like that.

you were always safe with him, he would always protect you– and deep down you knew that.