gangsta - riverdale sweet pea

70

I held the pregnancy test in between my shaking fingers.

Positive.

So it was true.

I left the bathroom and just nodded when the guys looked at me. How did I not know? How could I not tell that about my own body? Malachi never loved me then, he only wanted me to stay so Penny would be happy. Well I hope they're happy now.

So basically, Penny needed me to be pregnant to get financial help from the government as I was pregnant whilst underage, adopted and single. Therefore, she could take the money I was getting and keep it for her New York fund, which would get us a one way ticket.

Sweet Pea rushed over and put his hand on my cheek. Yet, I pulled away. I'm not sure why but my instincts just did. He looked incredibly hurt, but all I wanted was my dad to hug me and tell me that it would be okay. Even if it wasn't going to be.

"Are you keeping it?" Jughead asked quietly, taking my hand in his.

I nodded. He looked saddened by this.

"I used to say that if I was pregnant under 20 that I'd get an abortion no doubt. I don't have anything against abortion, but I can't bring myself to do that" I said, my eyes looking at the ground.

"You're keeping his baby?" Sweet Pea asked with a shocked tone.

I gulped and nodded.

"I need time to think about it but I think so" I said.

He just nodded with his lips pursed into a thin line.

"I didn't ask for this" I said sadly, my voice barely there.

"I know" He sighed, pulling me into a hug which I accepted this time.

"I'll be here, always" He murmured into my hair, kissing my head lovingly.

"I don't know how I'm going to do this. I can't" I said emotionlessly.

"You can, we will. Malachi doesn't have to know, I can be the dad if you'll let me?" He asked hopefully.

"Of course" I nodded, leaning up on my tiptoes to kiss his lips gently.

————————————

We ended up letting Jonah and the other guy go, but we couldn't be sure whether they would rat us out or not. It doesn't really matter now though, as we have everything we wanted.

In a way, I hate the way I found out. It was rushed and uncomfortable and I didn't even know if it was true or not. But then I am also thankful, that I found out so early. I'm glad that I found out now because if not I would have started throwing up, growing and missing periods without knowing what was wrong. I would have assumed it was Sweet Peas. Maybe that would have been better now that I think about it. We would grow up, have kids which wouldn't be ideal but at least they'd be 'ours'. As much as Sweet Pea says he'll be the father, I know he will always feel like an outcast. The child won't know any different, but Sweet Pea will. God forbid that they look like Malachi, because I don't know how we will both cope everyday. Looking into their eyes knowing that they're not his, but having to pretend that he or she is.

I rubbed my hand over my stomach in sadness. No tears were able to spill as it felt like I had none left, however I'd never felt this low before. It's like everything is compiled into one and is hitting me all at once.

Adopted, raped, kidnapped, stabbed, friend killed, boyfriend left, drugged, framed, having a crappy mother, beaten, scarred, threatened, getting a forced tattoo, depressed... and now pregnant. My gravestone will be full.

I closed my eyes and rested my head against the window as I sat on the windowsill. Sweet Pea entered and placed down a hot mug of tea next to me.

"How are you doing?" He asked me.

"You know. I wish I could go back" I nodded, avoiding his question.

"To when?" He asked curiously, sitting on the bed next to the window.

"To before all of this. When I had a crappy mother and father, who actually weren't my real parents funnily enough, I mean what are the chances in that, huh? Alana Masons parents weren't her real ones, ha! Well I can tell you the chances of that, 100% because if anything can physically go wrong in my life, it does. You know I wish I'd just never said anything about Martin trying to rape me. I wouldn't be here right now, and anyway I deserved it all I was a bitch" I laughed, my craziness beginning to show.

"Ally-"

"No! The funny part is, it's taken me this long to realise that I should have taken one for the team and let my step dad rape me, everyone's lives will have been so much better if I didn't intrude" I giggled maniacally, completely and utterly slipping into insanity.

"I mean, you would be better off really. Not stuck with some ugly, pregnant, suicidal, petty bitch that cries every two seconds and -"

"Ally Shut up!" He shouted, standing up furiously.

I didn't even flinch as he spoke, but he sat down once he realised his outburst.

"You're right, I need to shut up" I said, looking at him in the eyes.

"No, I meant what do you mean suicidal?" He asked seriously, holding my shaking hands in his.

"I can't take it anymore" I said with a shaky voice.

"No, Ally don't say that" He begged.

"Look what I've done. I'm not good for anybody Sweet Pea. I have single handedly ruined your life" I said.

"Ally that's where you're wrong. This is ruining my life, you being sad. I can't have you being sad. I can't have you leave me because then I'll have nothing to live for anymore. You are my reason, Ally. You're my reason for breathing the air I do and living everyday" He said, his eyes glossing over as he spoke.

I nodded and fell into his arms, pulling him as close to me as I could. We laid back on the bed and stayed there for as long as I could remember.