The Stupidity Over Depression.

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Evadin POV.

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I felt stupidly and utterly exhausted from this depression.

My mind was in a world of its own my eyes blinking in and out of exhaustion from lack of sleep over the past few days. Keyshia sat above me my head resting on her lap as she combed her long fingernails through my knotted hair the feeling making me want to get some sleep. Shay Shay sat on the end of my bed her chin in between my covered legs as she flipped through a magazine humming softly to a song under her breath.

Keyshia would shift every now and then sighing under her breath." Come on Eva. . .what the hell happen in Mason's party? Did he hurt you?. . ." She whispered hopefully trying to get a answer from me. My heart sank again from the reminder of a couple nights ago at the finals party every single bad memory of that night making my head spin. Shane found me that night I was crying so much that I didn't notice I took the wrong turn. Shane and Derek took me back home where Drew and the rest of my family were soundly asleep.

          I was a wreck Shane had to carry me into bed and went as far as to sing me to sleep; he never question why I was having a mental breakdown but I'm pretty sure he had a good guess. The next day Keyshia was there by my side giving me a earful of questions that I've never answered. The remembrance gave me even more headaches. It was like my body got weaker every time I reminded myself of the events. I hated this, I hated this so much. Mason had this unbelievable effect on me, but it hit me a lot harder this time. After five years of dealing with the same treatment you get use to the fact that they're words didn't matter, they're actions would stop after a while of embracing it with open arms.

        That's what I've been doing for all these years ignoring the fact that I was their little play toy. During those years I've gotten stronger and stronger trying to forget about Mason forget about Kelly forget and avoid at all cost those stupid parties.

                       Mason played me.

           Mixed up my emotions and killed it with his own bare hands.

            Squeezing my eyes shut I didn't want to cry again. I never cried over these things before I took them into my embrace and took what was coming at me, prepared myself. This time I wasn't prepared I was caught off guard blinded by my own conclusions realizing that Mason will always be the same, nothing changed at all.

           If I cried again that wouldn't help at all I had the support of family and friends, a lot of that support to have even June and Ana worry why I haven't knocked on their door to wake them up for school. Drew and Amy were highly suspicious these past couple of days wondering why I haven't join them for breakfast but they were too caught up in their work and taking care of May to talk to me. Surprisedly Kally hasn't found out yet if she found out I've been missing out on school she'd defiantly come to me personally and hit a few stings which in did I wasn't in the mood for.

         " Eva could you at least take a shower? Maybe even eat some food? Amy made some of your favorite pasta." Keyshia ushered in a singsong voice trying to persuade me into talking or even trying to eat or shower.

           That was another thing I hated about these stupid depressions. Showering, eating, sleeping doing something productive didn't matter to me. There wasn't a need for eating I didn't care if I smelled like fish, getting up sound like a complete mission that my body wasn't up for.

            But then again, Keyshia was right letting days pass by maybe even weeks pass by wasn't going to help me at all. If I knew myself even better I knew I wouldn't be laying in my bed like this, I would be coming on stronger using that hatred and humiliation to my own defense squeeze into it as hard as I can hold on to it, embrace it then build a even bigger wall.

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