After (Jikook version)

Chapter 25

I have no words.Jungkook's tone and dirty words make me weak, vulnerable, and confused. I have become a rabbit in a fox's trap. "Really, you don't have to admit it. I can tell," he says, his voice thick with arrogance. But all I can do is shake my head. His smile grows and I instinctively back against the wall. He takes a step toward me, and I take a deep, hopeful breath. Not again.

"Your pulse has quickened, hasn't it? Your mouth is dry. You're thinking about me and have that feeling . . . down there. Don't you, Jimin ssi?" Everything he is saying is true and the more he talks to me like this, the more I want him. It's strange to crave and hate someone at the same time. The attraction I feel is purely physical, which is surprising considering how opposite he is from Seulgi. I don't remember ever being attracted to anyone expect Seulgi. I know that if I don't say something now, he will win. I don't want him to have this power over me and win, too.

"You're wrong," I mutter.But he smiles. And even that sends electricity through me. "I'm never wrong," he says. "Not about this."

I step to the side before he fully traps me against the wall. "Why do you keep saying I throw myself at you if you're the one cornering me now?" I ask, my anger pushing past my lust for this maddening tattooed boy.

"Because you made the first move on me. Don't get me wrong, I was as surprised as you were."

"I was drunk and had a long night—as you already know. I was confused because you were being nice to me; well, your version of being nice." I scoot past him and sit down on the curb so I can get out of his space. Talking to him is so exhausting.

"I'm not that mean to you," he says, looming over me, but it sounds more like a question than a statement. "Yeah, you are. You go out of your way to be mean to me. Not just me, but everyone. But it still seems like you are extra hard on me." I can't believe I am being this honest with him. I know it's a matter of minutes before he turns on me.

"That's just not true. I'm no meaner to you than I am to the rest of the general population." I shoot up. I knew I couldn't have a normal discussion with him. "I don't know why I keep wasting my time!" I yell. I start walking back toward the main pathway and lawn.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Just come back over here." I groan, but my feet react before my brain can catch up, and I end up standing a few feet away from him. He sits on the curb where I was previously sitting. "Sit," he demands.

And I do.

"You're sitting awfully far away," he says, and I roll my eyes. "You don't trust me?"

"No, of course I don't. Why would I?" His face falls slightly as my words hit him, but he recovers quickly. Why would he care if I trusted him?

"Can we just agree to either stay away from each other, or be friends? I don't have it in me to keep fighting with you." I sigh, and he moves a little closer. He takes a deep breath before he speaks. "I don't want to stay away from you."

What? My heart beats out of my chest.

"I mean . . . I don't think we can stay away from each other, with one of my best friends being your roommate and all. So I suppose we should try to be friends." Disappointment bubbles up from nowhere, but this is what I want, right? I can't keep kissing Jungkook and cheating on Seulgi. "Okay, so friends?" I say, pushing down this feeling.

"Friends," he agrees and reaches out his hand for me to shake.

"Not friends with benefits," I remind him as I shake, only to feel the blood rush to my cheeks. He chuckles and moves his hand to play with his eyebrow ring.

"What makes you say that?"

"Like you don't know. Hosoek already told me."

"What, about?"

"You and all of your conquest." I try to fake a laugh but it comes out as a cough, so I cough a little more to try to cover. He raises his eyebrow at me but I ignore him.

"Well, I have girls and guys that I fuck but why does that concern you? "He smiles as if remembering something and I swallow the bile rising in the back of my throat. He's so nonchalant about the whole thing, but I'm in shock. Hearing him admit to sleeping with other girls shouldn't bother me but it does. He isn't mine: Seulgi is. Seulgi is. Seulgi is, I remind myself.

"It doesn't. I just don't want you to think that I will be one of those guys."

"Aww . . . are you jealous, Jimin ssi?" he mocks me, and I shove him.There is no way in hell I will ever admit that.

"No, absolutely not. I feel sorry for the girls and boys."

He raises his eyebrows playfully. "Oh, you shouldn't. They enjoy it, trust me." 

"Okay, okay. I get it. Can we please just change the subject?" I sigh and lift my head back to look at the sky. I need to clear the image of Jungkook and his harem out of my mind. "So, will you try to be nicer to me?"

"Sure. Will you try not to be so uptight and bitchy all the time?"

Looking at the clouds, I dreamily say, "I'm not bitchy and sassy; you're just obnoxious." I look at him and start laughing; fortunately he joins in. It's a nice change from screaming at each other. I know we haven't really resolved the big issue here, which is the feelings that I may or may not have for him, but if I can just get him to stop kissing me, I can focus back on Seulgi and stop this terrible cycle before it gets worse.

"Look at us, two friends." His accent is so cute when he isn't being rude. Hell, even then it is, but when his voice is soft his accent makes it so much softer, like velvet. The way words roll off his tongue and through his pink lips . . . I can't think about his lips. I tear my eyes away from his face and stand up, wiping my khaki pants off.

"Those pants really is dreadful, Minnie. If we're going to be friends you need to not wear that anymore." For a second I'm hurt, but when I look up at him, he's smiling. This must be the way he jokes; still rude, but I'll take this over his usual pure malice.

My phone alarm vibrates. "I need to get back and study," I tell him.

"You set an alarm to study?" Jungkook asks.

"I set an alarm for a lot of things; it's just something I do." I hope he just lets this topic go.

"Well, set an alarm for us to do something fun tomorrow after class," he says.

Who is this and where is the real Jungkook?

"I don't think my idea of fun is the same as yours." I can't even imagine what "fun" is to Jungkook.

"Well, we'll only sacrifice a few cats, burn down only a few buildings . . ." I can't stop the giggle from escaping and he smiles back. "Really, though, you could use some fun, and since we are new friends, we should do something fun."

I need a few moments to contemplate whether I should be alone with Jungkook before I answer him. But before I can answer, he turns to walk away. "Good, I'm glad you're aboard. See you tomorrow." And he's gone.

I don't say anything; I just sit back down on the curb. My head is spinning from the last twenty minutes. First, he basically offered me sex, telling me I have no idea how good he could make me feel; then, a few minutes later, he was agreeing to try to be nice to me; then we were laughing and joking and it was nice. There are still so many questions I have about him, but I think I can be friends with Jungkook, like Hoseok is. This is really the best thing. No more kissing, no more sexual advances from him. Just friends. But as I walk back to my room, past all the other kids going about without any knowledge of Jungkook or his ways, I can't quite manage to shake the fear that I just walked into another one of his traps.

Thank you for reading!