After (Jikook version)

Chapter 65

Eventually we stop kissing and I go to sit at the foot of the bed, and Jungkook follows me, sitting up by the headboard. 

“Okay, now tell me who you fought with; was it Namjoon?” I ask, afraid of his answer. 

“No. It was just a few random guys.” 

I’m relieved it wasn’t Namjoon, but then I register what he actually said. “Wait, a few? How many?” 

“Three . . . or four. I am not really sure.” He laughs. 

“It’s not funny—why were you fighting, anyway?” 

“I don’t know . . .” He shrugs. “I was pissed that you left with Namjoon and it seemed like a good idea at the time.” 

“Well, it’s not a good idea, and now look how busted up you are.” I frown and he cocks his head to the side with a puzzled expression. “What?” 

“Nothing . . . come here,” he says and holds his arms out to me. I move across the bed and lean back on him between his legs. 

“I am sorry for the way I treated . . . well, treat you,” he says quietly into my ear. 

A shiver runs through my body from his breath in my ear and his unforced apology. “It’s okay. Well, it’s not okay. But I am going to give you one more chance.” 

I hope he doesn’t make me regret it. I don’t think I can handle any more hot and cold from him. 

“Thank you, I know I don’t deserve it. But I am selfish enough to take it,” he says, his mouth against my hair. He wraps his arms around me, and sitting with him like this feels foreign and nostalgic at the same time. 

When I stay silent he turns my shoulders slightly to have me look at him. “What’s wrong?” he asks. 

“Nothing. I’m just afraid that you’ll change your mind again,” I say. I want to dive into this headfirst but am desperately afraid I will hit the bottom. 

“I won’t. I have never changed my mind. I’ve just fought my feelings for you. I know you can’t trust my words alone, but I want to earn your trust. I won’t hurt you again,” he promises and leans his forehead against mine. 

“Please don’t,” I beg. I don’t care how pathetic I sound. 

“I love you, Jimin,” he says and my heart leaps out of my chest. The words sound perfect coming off his lips and I would do anything to be able to hear them again. 

“I love you, Jungkook.” This is the first time we have both openly said the words, and I fight down my urge to panic over the possibility that he could take them back again. Even if he does, I will always have the memory of how they sounded, how they made me feel. 

“Say it again,” he whispers and turns me around to face him. In his eyes I see more vulnerability than I had thought possible for him.

I move to my knees and take his face in my hands, rubbing my thumbs over the light stubble on his perfect face. I can tell by his expression that he needs me to say it, over and over again. I will say it as many times as I have to until he believes that he is worthy of someone loving him.

“I love you,” I repeat and cover his lips with my own. He hmms in appreciation as his tongue grazes gently over mine. Kissing Jungkook feels new and different each time, and he is like a drug that I can’t get enough of. His hands press against the small of my back, bringing our chests together. My mind is telling me to take it slow, to kiss him gently and to savor each second of this gentle calm between us. But my body is telling me to grab a fistful of his hair and pull his shirt over his head. His lips travel down my jaw and attach themselves to my neck.