After (Jikook version)

Chapter 36

"What are you doing here?” I ask Jungkook, even though I do not want to hear the answer, especially not in front of Seulgi. 

“What do you think? You snuck out on me while I was asleep—what the hell was that?!” he booms.

I hold my breath as his voice echoes off the wall. Seulgi’s face flashes with anger and I know that she’s beginning to put the puzzle pieces together. And I’m torn between trying to explain to Seulgi what is going on and trying to explain to Jungkook why I left. 

“Answer me!” Jungkook yells and stands in front of my face. I’m surprised when Seulgi steps between us. 

“Don’t yell at him,” she warns Jungkook.

I’m frozen in place while Jungkook’s face twists in anger. Why is he so mad that I left? He was mocking my inexperience last night, and would have kicked me out this morning probably anyway. I need to say something before this all blows up in my face. 

“Jungkook . . . please don’t do this right now,” I beg. If he leaves now, I can try to explain to Seulgi what is going on. 

“Do what, Jimin ssi?” Jungkook asks and walks around Seulgi. I hope Seulgi keeps her distance. I don’t think Jungkook will hesitate to take her down. Seulgi is pretty strong from soccer, but I have no doubt that Jungkook can hold his own, and most likely win both physically and mentally. 

What the hell is happening in my life that I have to worry about Seulgi and Jungkook fighting? 

“Jungkook, please just go and we will talk about this later,” I say, trying to defuse things. 

But Seulgi just shakes her head. “Talk about what? What the hell is going on, Jimin?” 

Oh God. 

“Tell her; go on and tell her,” Jungkook says. 

I can’t believe he is doing this. I know how cruel he can be, but this takes it to a whole other level.

“Tell me what, Jimin?” Seulgi asks, and I can see her stance is an aggressive one, because of Jungkook, but it’s softening as she wonders about me. 

“Nothing, just what you know, that I stayed at Jungkook and Jin’s last night,” I lie. I try to match my gray eyes to Jungkook’s in hopes that he will stop this now, but he looks away immediately. 

“Tell her, Jimin, or I will,” Jungkook growls. 

I know it’s all lost. I know there’s no hiding anything anymore, and I begin to cry. But I want Seulgi to hear it from me, not the smirking asshole who’s brought us to this point.

I’m humiliated—not for myself, but for Seulgi. She doesn’t deserve any of this, and I’m ashamed of the way I’ve treated her and the confessions I’m going to be forced to make in front of Jungkook.

“Seulgi . . . I . . . me and Jungkook have been . . .” I start.

“Oh my God,” Seulgi stutters, and her eyes begin to water. 

How could I do this to her? What the hell was I thinking? Seulgi is so kind, and Jungkook’s cruel enough to break Seulgi’s heart in front of her.

Seulgi’s hands go to her forehead and she shakes her head. “How could you, Jimin? After everything we have been through? When did this start?” Tears stream down her face from her bright blue eyes. I have never felt this terrible—I caused those tears. I look over at Jungkook and my hatred for him consumes me so that I shove him instead of answering Seulgi. Jungkook is caught off guard and stumbles backward, but he steadies himself before he falls. 

“Seulgi, I am so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I rush over to my girlfriend and try to hug her, but she refuses to let me touch her. And she’s probably right to. If I’m being honest, I’ve not been good to Seulgi for a while. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I suppose something crazy like Jungkook becoming decent and me breaking up with Seulgi so I could date him—how stupid can I be? Or that I could just stay away from Jungkook and Seulgi would never know about what happened between us? The problem is that I can’t stay away from Jungkook. I am a moth to his flame, and he never hesitates to burn me. Both were stupid and naïve ideas, but I haven’t made one good choice since I’ve met Jungkook. 

“I don’t know what you were thinking, either,” Seulgi says, with a look of regret and hurt in her eyes. “I don’t even know you anymore.” 

And with that, she walks out the door. Out of my life. 

“Seulgi, please! Wait!” I rush after her, but Jungkook grabs my arm and tries to pull me back. 

“Don’t touch me! I can’t believe you! This is low, Jungkook, even for you.” I scream and jerk my arm out of his grasp. I push him again, hard. I have never pushed anyone in my life before today, and I hate him so much. 

“If you go after her, I’m done,” he says, and my mouth falls open. 

“Done? Done with what? Fucking with my emotions? I hate you!” But not wanting him to feed off my rage, I slow down and speak more calmly. “You can’t end something that never began.” 

His hands fall to his sides and his mouth opens but no words come out. 

“Seulgi!” I call and rush out the door. I run down the hall and out across the great lawn, finally catching up to her in the parking lot. She starts walking faster. 

“Seulgi, please listen. I am sorry, so sorry. I was drinking. I know that isn’t an excuse, but I . . .” I wipe my eyes and her face softens. 

“I can’t listen to you anymore . . .” she says. Her eyes are red. I reach for her hand, but she pulls away. 

“Seulgi, please, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Please.” I can’t lose her. I just can’t. 

Reaching her car, she runs a hand over her perfectly styled hair, then turns to face me. “I just need some time, Jimin. I don’t know what to think right now.” 

I sigh in defeat, not knowing what to say to that. She just needs time to get over this and we can go back to normal. She just needs time, I tell myself. 

“I love you, Jimin,” Seulgi says, then catches me by surprise when she kisses my forehead before climbing into her car and driving away. 

Thank you for reading!