After (Jikook version)

Chapter 51

The car ride is awkward. I hold my clothes on my lap and stare out the window, waiting to see if Jungkook is going to break the silence that hangs between us.

He makes no move to speak so I pull my phone out of my bag. It's off; it must have died last night. I try to turn it on anyway and the screen comes to life. I am relieved to find that I have no new voicemails or texts. The only noise in the car is the light rain and the slow screech of the windshield wipers. 

"Are you still mad?" he finally asks as he pulls onto campus. 

"No," I lie. I am not exactly mad, just hurt. 

"It sure seems like you are. Don't act like a child." 

"Well, I am not. I couldn't care less if you want to drop me off so you can go hook up with Molly." The words tumble from my mouth before I can stop them. I hate the way I feel about him and Molly. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of them together. What is it about her, anyway? Her pink hair? Her tattoos? 

"That's not what I am doing. Not that it's your business," he scoffs. 

"Yeah, well, you jumped to answer your phone when I was about to . . . well, you know," I mutter. I should have just stayed quiet. I don't want to fight with Jungkook right now. Especially when I don't know when I will see him again. I really wish he hadn't dropped Literature. He just pushes my buttons, every single one. 

"It isn't like that, Jimin ssi," he says. 

So we are back to Jimin ssi? 

"Really, Jungkook? It seems like it is to me. I don't really give a crap anyway. I knew it wouldn't last," I finally admit to him and myself. The reason I didn't want to leave his father's house is that I knew once it was just Jungkook and me, it would go back to this. It always does. 

"What wouldn't last?" 

"This . . . us. You being decent to me." I don't dare to look at him; that's how he gets me to turn to putty every time. 

"So what then? You're going to avoid me for another week? We both know that by this weekend you'll be back in my bed," he snaps. 

He surely did not just say that. 

"Ex-cuse me?!" I shout. I am at a loss for words. No one has ever talked to me the way he has—no one has ever been so disrespectful. Tears brim over my eyes as the car slows to park. 

Before he can respond, I open the door, grab my things, and bolt toward my room. I cut across the soaking grass and curse at myself for not taking the sidewalk, but I just need to get as far away from Jungkook as possible. When he said he wants me, he meant sexually. I knew this but it hurts to let it soak in. 

"Jimin!" I hear him call. One of Hoseok's boots drops and falls to the ground but I keep running. I will get him a new pair. 

"Damn it, Jimin! Stop!" he yells again. I hadn't expected him to follow me. I push myself to run faster, and finally I reach my building and run down the hall.

By the time I reach my dorm room, I am full-on sobbing. I yank the door open, then slam it shut behind me. My tears mix with the rain and I turn to look for my bath towel to clean off with— 

And am frozen in place when I see Seulgi sitting on my bed. 

Oh God, not now. Jungkook will be crashing through the door any second. 

Seulgi gets up and rushes toward me. "Jimin, what is wrong? Where have you been?" Her hand tries to cup my cheek, but I turn my head. Pain flashes in her eyes as I turn away from her touch.