The Christmas lights blinked slowly and softly illuminated your living room. You smiled and skipped to your phone, where you put on Christmas music at a low level. You examined the whole room and nodded, happy with your decorating. You had invited Shoto, your boyfriend, over to your house to celebrate Christmas together by making ginger bread houses. You made a few last preparations before he would arrive.
You heard a quiet knock at the front door, and you walked over to answer it. Shoto stood there, looking cozy and warm in his coat, scarf, and hat. "Hello," he said, entering the house and shaking the snow off of his shoes. You took his coat and hung it up. He looked around the living room, staring at the lights and garland hanging everywhere. He noticed some mistletoe hanging from the doorway into the kitchen and blushed a little.
"Are you gonna keep your hat on?" you asked, interrupting his intense thought.
"Oh," he mumbled, taking his hat off quickly. You giggled and started walking towards the kitchen, gesturing for him to follow. He trailed behind you silently, taking in the whole atmosphere. He had been to your house before, but he was amazed at how different it felt. It's not like he had never seen Christmas decorations, but they made your house seem so kind and happy. He stopped before entering the kitchen to look at your tree. He smiled at your good-looking ornaments that you hung up on the front, and the ornaments that had little kid pictures of you and other strange ones hidden in the back.
"Come on!" you yelled from the kitchen. He immediately followed your voice and walked into the kitchen, staring at all of the supplies you had set out.
"Wow, there's a lot of stuff here. How will I know what to do with these?" he said, picking up a strange-looking utensil.
"You just wing it. You gotta make the ginger bread house look as beautiful as you possibly can," you explained. He nodded slowly, staring at the tool in his hand. "Come on, I'll help you." You picked up two walls and held them together. He picked up a bag of icing and cut a corner off. He squeezed it gently, and put all of his focus into making an even line between the two edges.
"Wow, Picasso, looking perfect," you complimented.
"I'm not Picasso," he stated.
"It's a...never mind. Come on, let's do another one." You continued to pick up various pieces and let him stick them together with frosting, until the whole house was pieced together. He nodded, approving of his creation.
"Ok, what now? Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked.
"What? No, Shoto, we're not done yet. We put it together, but we still have to decorate it," you said.
"Oh." You picked up several pieces of candy and handed them to him. You took one yourself and stuck it to the house, and watched as he did the same. He put several red-colored gum drops onto the house, carefully making sure they were all in a good place. You took it upon yourself to make icicles out of frosting on the little windows and make it the whole thing look cute. After 45 minutes, the house was complete, and you were satisfied with your work.
"What do you do with it after it's finished?" he asked.
"You just leave it there for a while and slowly pick from it as the days go on."
"Seriously? That seems...wrong," he muttered.
"That's how I did it. It doesn't really matter, honestly. You can take it home if you want!" you offered.
"No, it's fine. I'm not sure what I would do with it anyway," he sighed. He picked at a loose string on his sweater, and despite all of the fun you had that night, he seemed sad. His eyes met yours, but he seemed distant.
"What's wrong?" you asked. You placed your hand on his, to warm up his cold hand.
"Nothing...it's just I've never really had a real Christmas. With my dad and everything, I mean. He tried last year to make us all be together on Christmas, but it felt wrong, and...and," he explained, getting choked up on his words. You quickly embraced him without thinking, holding him in a tight grasp. His breath was heavy and it felt hot against the top of your head. You felt a tear hit the top of your head as he wrapped his arms around you. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make tonight sad."
"Sho, you don't need to apologize. I understand. Christmas doesn't need to be 100 percent happy. Just like real life, remember? You don't have to always be happy. I'll love you whether you're happy or not, okay? Let's have a good Christmas regardless."
He sighed and held you tighter. He didn't really know what to say. With all the feelings going on inside him, he didn't really feel like he could enjoy himself. "If you say so," he said. He sniffled and reminded himself that heroes can cry. "Uh, so what does one usually do on Christmas eve?" he tried. He wanted to at least make an attempt to have a good time. At least you were there for him to enjoy.
"Well what do you want to do?" you asked. "I feel like this whole Christmas thing isn't really gripping you yet."
"Could we just be close? I don't care what we do, I just want to be close to you." You nodded and led him to the living room. He laid down on the couch and you joined him, laying on top of him. You rest your head on his chest and reveled in his warmness. He wrapped his arms around you gently and ran his hands through your hair. You laid like that for a long time, doing nothing but listening to his heartbeat and feeling his breath.
Is she okay doing this? She really wanted to do the Christmas things. It seemed important to her. Should I ask her if she wants to watch a Christmas movie? Maybe decorate some more? I don't really know what to do on Christmas anyway, if I'm being honest with myself. His train of thought ran wild as he vacantly ran his fingers through your hair. No. She is fine with this. I love holding her. He squeezed you tighter into him. I'm not going to let go. This is how I want to spend tonight.
Over an hour passed. You had fallen asleep on him by now, but he was still wide awake. He was still so conflicted. He wanted today to be special, but this was how you would spend any other evening, minus all of the decorations. He looked at his wristwatch and noticed it was already past midnight. "Merry Christmas, Y/N," he whispered, kissing your head. Your eyelids fluttered open.
"Merry Christmas. I love you, Shoto," you cooed. He gave you a weak smile. "What is it?"
"I'm sorry. I feel like you wanted this to be a more special occasion than this." You furrowed your brows and looked up at him.
"This is special to me. Is it not to you?"
"No, it is. But we do this all the time," he sighed, feeling guilty. "We're just doing what I wanted to do."
"Well I want to be here right now. This is better than anything else. And Christmas isn't even about presents or Santa or stuff like that. It doesn't even have to be Christmas. This time of year can be anything you want. What I want it to be about is you," you affirmed. He nodded, starting to feel sure of himself.
"Okay. Well if I'm being honest, this is the best Christmas I've ever had. Thank you so much, Y/N. I love you."
"I love you too, Shoto." With that, you started to fall back asleep. Shoto didn't, however. He looked around at the slowly blinking lights and smiled. He had his whole world asleep on his chest. And to him, that was the best present of all.
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Hey y'all, thank you so much for reading! I hope your holidays are going well.
Please leave suggestions for future chapters!
-Liv
