Pain & Love

Chapter 9

Narrator's POV

Natalie led Jay and Hank to a private room. Natalie turned towards them, holding her iPad and started talking.

(N - Natalie, J - Jay, H - Hank)

N: We did a blood test on Erin and I got her results. I need the both of you to be completely honest with me.

H: What is it?

N: When Erin arrived, Connor administered a little bit of morphine. But as soon as he administered it, she ODed.

H: How little?

N: 5mg.

J: Wait. Are you asking if she is using?

N: *nods* Yes. Her blood test shows high levels of opioid. And it couldn't have gotten than high with just 5mg of morphine, not to mention, cause her to OD. And her pupils were constricted when I checked her vitals when she arrived. So do any of you know that she has been using?

H: No. *looks at Jay*

J: *looks at Hank then at Natalie* No, I didn't know either.

N: Ok.

J: *thinks back, gets hit with realization and says softly* Oh my gosh. This explains so much. All the signs of her using were there. How did I not realize? *looks at them*

H: What do you mean? *looks at Jay questioningly*

J: When she got shot, you'd expect her to stop running and drop her gun from the pain, but she didn't. Instead, she just kept running. It's because she didn't feel any pain, cause she has opioid in her system. And she has been acting differently as well. I thought that maybe it's because she is griefing, but maybe that's not the only reason.

N: Acting differently how?

J: She's always tired, but that is probably from lack of sleep. She's so easily irritated and annoyed, drowsy, doesn't eat as much, and she sweats more. And whenever I ask to go over to her place, she says no and just gives some reason. We almost never spend time together out of work lately. Even at work, she has distanced herself from the rest of the unit. She barely ever talks when not needed, let alone joke around.

N: It is understandable why you thought those were from grief.

H: Now that you mention it, her mood and behavior have changed pretty drastically too.

N: Ok. We'll take note of that. Listen, I don't want the both of you to blame yourselves because you guys didn't know and knowing her, she probably hid it well. You both just thought she was grieving. When she wakes up, please don't overwhelm her with questions about her turning to drugs again.

H: *nods* Yes.. Thank you.

J: Ok. Thanks Nat.

With that, they left the room and rejoined the unit back in the waiting room.

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