You Know I Can't (book1)

Chapter 39

You Know I Can't

© Hardheadeddouche

Continuation..

Ng makarating kami sa airport ng Japan ay nag ring ang phone ko. Wala sana akong balak sagutin ang kung sino man pero nakita kong kay Tita Tori nagmula ang tawag.

"Yes Tita?" Bungad ko. Hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko kay Justin na hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin sa sarili nya at hindi pa rin ako pinapansin.

I try to understand what Tita Tori's saying but I can't. It's hard when you're mind is drifting somewhere only 6 steps away.

"Tarra hija, you're still there?" Inalis ko ang tingin ko kay Justin at umupo sa waiting area.

"Ano ulit yon Tita? Sorry." Huminga ako ng malalim at hinintay ang sasabihin ni Tita. But when I hear it nagitla ako at napatayo bigla. I pace back and forth and put my thumb on my mouth to ease the tension building up inside me.

"Really Tita?"

"Yes. Actually he's already here. Kakarating lang namin. Sinundo ko. He's asking your whereabouts pero wala akong masabi."

"Nasaan ka ba? Ipapasundo kita. Hinahanap ka nya. He wants to see you and he actually in front of me now wanting me to hand the phone to him para makausap ka?"

Sasabihin ko sana na wag nya ibigay ang phone pero narinig ko na ang boses ni Papa sa kabilang linya.

Is it real? Magaling na ba talaga sya?

Bumalik ako sa kinauupuan ko kanina at pinunasan ang pisngi ko na basa na ng luha.

I can't believe it. After years. Nakalabas na nga talaga si Papa.

"Where are you? I miss you princess." Mahinahong sabi nya.

"I miss you too Papa. I'm going home. Magkikita na tayo." I take a deep breath and exhale all my frustrations through it. I silently smile and laugh at myself dahil sa magandang balita. This is the best news so far. At least may nangyaring maganda sa kabila ng masasamang nangyari the past days, well the past years to be exact.

After talking to Papa shortly ay tinawag na ang flight number namin. Tumayo ako at kukunin sana ang bag ko pero kinuha na ito ni Justin at nauna ng maglakad sa akin.

I sigh as I follow him.

~~
"I'll be staying at Tita Tori's house for a while. Nandoon si Papa at gusto nya kong makita."

I wait for his response pero no avail pa rin. Dapat alam ko na ganito nya nanaman ako pakikitunguhan. I should have known better. I should have known him better.

We're always in this circle. Always on a scenario with back and forth routines. Kaylan ba matatapos to?

Inalis nya ang tingin sa labas ng bintana at humarap sa akin. He's wearing his famous poker face expression.

"Two weeks siguro akong mawawala. I want to freshen up and put myself together. I don't know if you're going to talk to me anytime soon kaya siguro ay lalayo muna ko ng panandalian." I try to be more confident. To be more convincing. Ayokong traydurin nanaman ako ng luha ko dahil sa hindi nanaman nya ko pipigilan. Somehow gusto kong maging possessive nalang sya ulit but still I want to spend time with my father.

Gusto kong makita syang maapektuhan sa akin. Sa pag alis ko.

But like he always is. Dinidisappoint ko lang ang sarili ko sa mga bagay na imposible.

"Okay." He shrugged and look out of the window again.

~~
Umuwi ako saglit sa bahay para iwanan ang maleta ko at mag impake ng panibagong mga damit.