This Town

011

six months later

i hate it here, i hate everyone and myself. how could i have been so stupid to think i could've actually had a happy ending here? happily ever after doesn't exist. it doesn't exist on the isle and it doesn't exist here. i fucking hate auradon and i just want to go back to the isle. yeah i know, how could i hate it after everything that's happened. i just want to rip this stupid fucking cheer outfit off of me and drop dead. i became the thing i promised to never become. some snobby preppy asshat.

i became friends with the cool kids, my status in the school went up and then everyone wanted to be my friend. yeah i got to kiss princey but look at me now! i'm single and depressed. we were happy for what? five days? i don't know what happened, or where i went wrong. he left me for mal. he left me for mal! how? how did i fuck this up? where did i go wrong?

the week after his coronation all we did was kiss, and kiss, and kiss, and even more kissing. my lips were so swollen by the end of the week. and for what? so he can leave one morning, come back like i didn't exist and then declare that mal is his girlfriend. what sucks is he's always all flirty with me in private, but in the halls it's like i didn't exist. that shit hurted. i shouldn't feel bad, we never became anything official! he was just using me.

after that, to try to cheer me up, audrey invited me to see the cheer tryouts. she thought seeing people fail would cheer me up, and in a way it did. however, i learned the routine and tried out. as a joke. it was just a joke. these fuckers accepted me into the team and here i am now, watching the fencing team work out. it felt so weird, when we first got here i was quick to fit in. now i feel out of place and the others fit in better than ever did.

as i said, we're currently watching the fencing team do their thing. jane is all excited because she knows something we don't, what is it? i don't know and i don't care. whoever was going against jay obviously knew what they were doing as jay seemed to be struggling a bit. wait that's a girl under the mask, no guy is that scrawny.

"it's lonnie!" oh shit it was. lonnie had taken off the mask and revealed who she was. everyone was surprised and impressed, but i don't have the energy to feel proud of her. i just clapped along as the other girls cheered for her, jane being the most excited.

"yes! that's my girl!" oh right, jane and lonnie were a couple. how great for them, everyone seems to be in a happy relationship except me. lonnie and jane, jay and carlos, who else is there? all of auradon seems to be in a happy relationship. why can't that be me? "you know, since ben had to leave to go do all that king stuff." ugh why must he be brought up? he shall remain nameless until further notice.

"i'm getting out of here, i'll see you later." i said to audrey who was too busy with the girls to notice. i didn't mind though, out of everyone she deserves to be happy. with everything that's going on in her life, being here surrounded by people that care for her is what she needs. i decided to head over to my room as princey was probably with mal right about now. he's always with her, having her shove cookies in his mouth in public. it's gross, like get a room. a room that isn't mine.

once in my room i turned the tv on and sat down, hopefully this could get my mind off of this whole mess. except it didn't, every fucking channel was broadcasting princey and mal's relationship. i'm so tired of it! mal and ben this, mal and ben that. the king and his future queen. the most envied girl in auradon. his one true love. that should be me! i was going to risk my life for that witch and what does she do? she steals the only person i've ever had actual feelings for.

out of anger and desperation i threw the remote control at the tv, which i instantly regretted. i'm angry okay? i have every right to be! i thought i could get over this fucker in six months but i haven't. in these six months i have fallen deeper and deeper, and it hurts. it hurts knowing that he just used me. i thought it was me! i haven't been eating and i'm losing sleep. all because i'm not good enough for that little shit.