The Scientist (Loki x OC)

Pt. 50: Washed In The Waters

A/N: wow, it has been a while, huh? Sorry for the wait, but here it is anyway! And just in time for Christmas and Hanukkah, so here's a present from me to you! Another big long boi! Enjoy this one and don't get too horny, ya little weirdos XP lmao love ya

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With dishes put away and the television turned off, the two retired to the bedroom for more much-needed rest. It had been an exhausting day for both of them, but Loki knew Luna had a vastly harder time. She didn't speak, save for the occasional comment or question, and stuck to looking at pictures of cats to calm herself enough for sleeping through the night.

Rubbing her tired eyes, Luna sat up and stretched her arms and back. "I think I'll go wash up now. I smell like stress and sadness."

Loki's eyes flicked to her, and he nodded. "Alright."

Anxiety filled his chest. The longest she'd spent away from him was a maximum of five minutes, and he worried how she'd fair being alone with the negative emotions still brewing in her mind. He never did well with his, and judging by what he knew about her, she didn't either.

Luna set her glasses on the dresser and ambled into the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and flicked the lights on. They felt a little more glaring than usual. She checked her face in the mirror. It looked better, but her eyes were still red and pained. She rubbed them again, and the relief was minimal.

Looking deep into her reflection, a sense of dissatisfaction quickly built up inside her. Luna hated what she saw, though she saw it every day. Her face, a perfect blend of her mother's and father's, but so unlike either. Stunning to some, but offensive to others. She pushed her fingertips into her cheek and felt the bottom of her cheekbone. Though she knew better, the face in the mirror didn't feel like hers. It was the same, but completely different, like an identical twin. But it was shrouded in disruption, like the twins had switched places and forgotten who they originally were, the lines of identity long since blurred out of distinction. The truth was lost in a sea of lies, and it didn't matter as long as those affected kept up appearances.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Luna gripped the counter edge and bent her head. It was happening again. She was losing touch with reality. With herself. She slipped off her pants and scratched at her thighs, the raised scars catching under her nails. This was dangerous, and she knew it. The urge to reconnect with what was real, but she didn't know what that was. She suffocated under the fear and uncertainty, but through it all, she felt like laughing. Barely ten minutes spent alone, and she was already at the breaking point.

The temptation to put an end to it the way she'd tried before itched to get out. She struggled to put a damper on it and think with a clear head, but nothing worked. The push and the pull exhausted her, and she wanted it to stop for the last time, but alone, there was only one way she could think of. She needed help and something to care about, and it was on the other side of the door.

Luna pulled her pants back up and opened the door, expecting to see Loki perched on the bed as she left him. But now she saw him at her feet, sitting in front of the door. Reasonably surprised, he scrambled to his feet and straightened his shirt.

"Hey," Luna said, voice laced with shock.

"Hi. W-was there something you forgot?" Loki prepared to explain himself, but Luna wasn't concerned. She knew why he was there.

"No. Just wanted to ask you something." Her voice caught in her throat, and she felt a deep heat rise in her chest.

Toying with the doorknob, she felt like saying 'never mind' and shutting the door, but she knew how time would proceed if she did. She took a deep breath, mustered up enough courage to last fifteen seconds, and spoke.