The Pain Made Me Strong ~ Levi x Reader

Chapter 28

Y/n’s POV-

      The day went by after we got to headquarters quickly. As soon as I arrived I headed to my old room, which was officially my room now, and locked myself away the whole day. I tried to search my brain for an explanation, but the pain was too overwhelming for coherent thought. 

     Eventually I had fallen asleep and by the time I woke up The moon was out and shining in the starlit sky. I had to have been the dead of night, early morning by now, most were probably asleep. My stomach growled and I knew Levi couldn’t have been asleep yet, so I decided to head to his office to grab some food from the kitchen with.

     When I made it to Levi’s office the light was not on under the door, he couldn’t have been asleep, there was no way. I made my way to the stables and my questions were answered, Levi’s and Erwin’s horses were missing, they must still be out on whatever business it was Erwin needed Levi for.

     I wanted to do this the proper way by having a superior officer escort me, but my stomach ached with hunger, and luckily for me I knew how to sneak into the kitchen. A few months living here without anything to do had allowed me to figure out the ins and outs of this place.

     I snuck in through a back entrance and slithered my way to the kitchen. I grabbed a piece of bread and an apple. I snatched some water on my way to the dining hall and sat at the nearest table. It was silent and calm, the wind lightly brushed through the windows with the golden leaves it carried and caused a light noise to fill the air around me. 

     I took deep breaths, my eyes were red and puffy from earlier in my room and I felt emotionally drained, but I tried to empty my mind for the time being. At this moment I just was. And that was all I could be without confusion and pain flooding over me. Was it this hard for everyone here who loses someone?

     I ate slowly, and as I was about halfway done eating, I heard the main entrance to the dining hall creak open. I was empty and unbothered and getting caught with a piece of bread and an apple was the least of my worries, so I just sat. To my surprise, the man who entered the creaking door was Levi.

     “Y/n?” He asked, “What are you doing in here, I would have thought you would be asleep.”

     “I fell asleep, missed dinner. You weren’t back yet to take me to get food, so I came and got it myself,” I answered lazily.

     Levi sighed, “I’m not even going to bother asking how you got in here.”

     He shook his head and came and sat across from me, “Aren’t you going to get something for yourself?”

     “I will later, first I need to know why you have been crying,” he ordered.

     “How did you-”

     “Y/n, I have seen you cry only a few times, it makes it pretty obvious to tell the difference between you normally and you with puffed red eyes, even in just moonlight.”

     “Guess that makes sense. It’s really nothing, it’s stupid, don’t worry about it,” Levi was going to think I was weak, he was going to think I was stupid for caring so much when this is what we signed up for as soldiers.

     “It’s not stupid if it is upsetting you, just tell me, you’ll need to get it out at some point,” his eyes lacked sincerity, but his voice was a tone I only ever heard alone with the stoic man.

     “I...I,” just thinking about today’s events made my eyes begin to water again, “Marco, Marco Bodt died in battle. He was half eaten by a Titan and I found him alongside his best friend who was identifying his body at the time.