The Pain Made Me Strong ~ Levi x Reader

Chapter 32

Levi’s POV-

     I don’t know why I am so irritated with everyone right now. Ever since after the trial. When I walked in with Erwin and Y/n, Y/n made me feel so… I don’t know, it’s stupid. The way we joke around with each other, it’s so easy to want to open up around her and not hide myself like I do with everyone else. But then Jaeger came in and spoiled it all.

     I didn’t think I was capable of feeling this way, I hated seeing Eren and Y/n close to each other. The way Y/n was consoling him and how she sat next to him in the office and carriage, it just made me so angry. Hanji kept trying to tell me I was jealous, but I don’t get jealous… right? 

     They are all brats, and the last thing I wanted was to have to sit next to the two brats, but Hanji just had to run in and make me. But all those feelings, the anger, the confusion, the… jealousy, it all went away when I felt a light pressure fall against my side.

      It still is so astonishing to me how calm Y/n can make me, how happy she can make me, just by being there. As much as I wanted to be angry with her, looking at her sleepy eyes as her head leaned against my shoulder, I couldn’t stop myself from welcoming her presence. 

     Miche and Erwin stared at me as my regular scowl turned soft and I shifted to run my hands through Y/n’s hair to lull her to sleep comfortably. I even found the sides of my lips began to curl up as I thought… she easily could have laid her head on Jaeger… but she chose to lean against me. I didn’t know such little things could mean so much to me until I feared losing her to someone else.

     I looked up to see the two men across from me with looks of shock and amusement as they watched me gently play with Y/n’s hair. My small smile quickly faded, but it was too late, they had already seen it.

     “Well well Levi, she really has softened you up, more than even I imagined,” Erwin said with amusement.

     “Shut up, Eyebrows,” was all I said before he went back to looking out the window.

     The more I think about it these days, Hanji really was right, which physically pains me to say. I do like Y/n, I like her more than anyone I have ever known. I Love her, even. I always believed people too scared to voice their feelings for someone were just weak, but you don’t realize how terrifying that really is until you are in that position. 

     If Y/n doesn’t like me the way I like her, and I voice my emotions to her, if I let myself be vulnerable, then things in our friendship could change. It scares me more to think of losing Y/n from what we have now, than thinking of never telling her how I feel. I may be humanity’s strongest soldier, but when it comes to my emotions, I’m truly so weak.

     The carriage began to slow, meaning we were reaching headquarters, and I was thrust out of my thoughts. Hanji slowly began to wake up, and when she saw the scene of Y/n and I in front of her, she wiggled her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at her, venom settling back in facial expression.

     I heard noise from beside me and looked over, Jaeger was beginning to wake up as well. It was well past ten by now, so most people in headquarters were asleep. The carriage slowed to a complete stop and Erwin said, “Make sure to get some sleep tonight, all of you. I will see you all sometime tomorrow. Hanji, will you please escort Cadet Jaeger to the basement, seeing as Levi… has his hands full.”

     “Of course!” Hanji said eagerly. She got out, followed by Miche, Erwin, and finally Eren. They stood outside the carriage, staring at me, waiting for me to wake Y/n up. 

     “Oh don’t look at me like that; Shitty-glasses, take the brat to the basement, I’ll carry Y/n in.”

     They all looked a little shocked, especially Jaeger, but they all soon left me. I turned slowly and carefully, snaking my right arm under Y/n’s legs to pick her up. Finally, I had her in my arms and maneuvered her out of the carriage and began heading inside.