The Pain Made Me Strong ~ Levi x Reader

Chapter 42

Y/n’s POV-

     I quickly opened my door and ran across the hall to Levi’s office entrance and opened the door in one quick turn without knocking, closing it loudly behind me. Levi was facing the other way, rustling through a file on the floor.

     “Hanji! I already told you to stop busting through my door! It’s fucking annoying and I don’t need you to keep telling me to com-” He grunted before looking up to see me, standing still at his door, staring into my eyes as he paused.

     “Y/n?” He asked, his eyes showing signs and disbelief, he also looked extremely tired, as though he didn’t sleep last night.

     “Hey…” I said, nerves laced in the way I spoke, “Um… I’m really really really sorry about yesterday, I really hope you don’t hate me for it, I feel bad enough about it as is.”

     Levi sighed and gave me a small side smile while moving to sit on the corner of his desk, “It’s okay Y/n, I could never hate you. I’m sure I must have shocked you yesterday.”

     I let out a nervous chuckle, “Yeah… yeah, you really did… b- but that is besides the point!” I shook my head and remembered what I came here to do. I took a step forward and said, “Levi, as you know,  all my life I have either been alone or lived with people who never loved me. My mom never taught me how to love or even like someone else, so I distanced myself from everything.

     These last three years I learned what it meant to have friends and to open up to people, but one thing I was too afraid to admit to myself because I didn’t know what it was like, was the fact that there has always been something different about you and me. I convinced myself every time something felt too different or too strong that it was because you were my closest friend, but now I really know what it was.

     I have been thinking a lot about what you said yesterday and I got a little help from someone who told me what it felt like to like someone, and I think all the signs were there and I was just too blind to see. But, I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you Levi, and I don’t know too much about what that entails since I have never liked someone before, but at the very least I know for certain that I like you too Levi, and I never want to feel the way I feel about you with anyone else.”

     When I finished, I was out of breath, who knew it took so much out of you to pour your heart out to someone. Levi had stared at me the whole time with his blank stare until I finally came to an end and I watched as his face contorted in a way I had never seen before. It looked almost as though he was going to cry, but he didn’t look sad in that sense.

     Levi slowly stood and took a few shaky steps towards me before he finally swiftly walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, he leaned until his head rested on my left shoulder and I did the same hesitantly. Did this mean he was accepting my confession?

     “Walls Y/n, I was really hoping you would say that. I was… so afraid that I had ruined everything, that you didn’t like me back and were going to hate me. I was so scared I was going to lose you,” Levi said into my shoulder.

     I pulled away from the hug so that I could look him in the eye, I had never seen him like this before. I had seen him break down, but never like this, he seemed so vulnerable, “Levi you could never lose me, I was afraid you’d hate me for running out on you.”

     “Don’t say such stupid things Y/n, I told you I liked you, how could I hate you just because you didn’t know your own feelings yet.”

     “So...uh- does this make us...a couple now? I’m sorry Levi, I just really don’t know a lot of what it means when two people both like each other like this,” I said with a side smile.