Never Going Back Again

43. Forgiven

"Mommy?" Leelee ran down first, her brother and sister on her trail. "Did daddy leave?" she asked, only knowing that because he yelled to them and the door shut just as glass shattered.

"Yeah, he'll be back," she swiped her hair. "The ashtray fell off the table, don't come down here, guys, unless you have some shoes on..." she walked back to the kitchen, just to grab a broom and wet rag.

Leelee looked at her brother with pursed lips, both of them knowing full and well that their parents were fighting.

"Let's go, guys," he gestured to them. "Come on, Stella," he took her hand and he brought her to Leelee's room where he would stay with them, just wanting their focus off their parents. Especially his youngest sister who was on the verge of tears.

"Do you think daddy's coming back?" Leelee asked, unsure since this obviously wasn't the first fight they've witnessed, though it had been a while.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Mom said so, right?" he tried to encourage, though even he was unsure.

Downstairs, Stevie was sweeping up the mess she made; the mixture of ashes, cigarette butts and shattered crystal.

"Damn it," she mumbled after a moment, bringing a hand to her head to rub lightly but then, she soon went back to cleaning the mess.

This was the worst part; her feelings and actions. She knew something was wrong, she didn't bring it up and she let her annoyance wash over like nothing. All of the sudden, she went from her new sweet and family oriented mother to the bitch she was three years ago and once again, she knew she messed up and could have gone a different direction. But what bothered her the most; other than scaring her children, she didn't know if he was coming back and she for sure didn't know what was causing him to be spiteful. She wanted to believe it was built up anger from the past and everything they had to go through as a married couple, as a band, as parents---now a separated married couple and a separated band.

Stevie cried; light tears, just her own sorry that awaited the kids and everything her husband might have been going through.

When she was done wiping up the floor, she took the things back to the kitchen and she let the rag, she used, dry outside. She then heated up her tea and she made her way upstairs to the kids' rooms, not knowing which they may have barricaded themselves in. Standing in the doorway, she could see Will and Leelee just trying to make ends meet for Stella.

As Stevie stood in the doorway quietly, she soon put her mug down, letting the noise mark her presence.

Stella immediately hopped up and she ran straight to her mother and hugged her at the hips.

"Hey," the blonde said softly as she pulled the child away, just to squat in front of her. "Are you okay, precious girl?" she swiped her dark strands.

The girl nodded, her eyes full of tears as her mother's soothing voice chatted with her.

"C'mon," she scooped her up and she furthered into Leelee's bedroom. "Are you guys okay?" she asked as she laid down, to keep the three and even herself occupied.

Leelee nodded and went forward to lay her head in her mother's hip.

Stevie swiped her oldest daughter's blonde strands and smiled at Will when he decided to lay down on the other side of Stella. She reached over and ran her fingers through her son's hair.

Stella just stayed curled into her mother.

"I'm sorry you had to hear us arguing..." Stevie assured.

They stayed silent unable to find the ability of how to respond to her.

"I know I promised things would be different, but the truth is your daddy and I are having a hard time right now. But that doesn't mean we love you any less because you guys are our world," she assured, pecking a kiss to the top of Stella's head.