Seek Harmony

Beliefs and Questions

"Honey, you need to come to church every Sunday so you can earn your bible." The Sunday school teacher pointed at a chart hanging on wall. "You are way behind the other children." I stared at the chart of little gold stars. I found my name. My heart sank. My line of stars was one of the shortest.

"My parents take me to see my grandmother on Sundays. It takes a long time to get there."

"You need to tell your parents to bring you to church every Sunday so you can earn your bible."

I was so stunned that I could not respond. I knew better than to tell my parents that! How could this nice lady not understand that our trips were expressions of love. Surely an all-knowing God would understand why I was not in Sunday school every Sunday. Surely getting a bible was not as important as visiting my elderly grandmother and being with family.

Eventually, I received the bible without the required number of gold stars. I assume someone decided it was more important for me to have a bible than make a spectacle of my erratic attendance. However, I did not feel I had earned the bible. Each time I looked at it I felt embarrassed. Church was a place where adults I did not know judged me instead of loving me. I became cynical about attending church.

About the same time, my school teacher brought in a speaker. He talked about his religion. The speaker's beliefs were fascinating. He described heaven as a series of levels that one hoped to achieve. He shared his belief in reincarnation. The idea that not everyone shared my religious beliefs tickled my mind with curiosity.

As I got older, I became a voracious reader. One day I stumbled on a book at the library that talked about heaven and an afterlife. The author talked with spirits. He asked the spirits what it was like in heaven. Their response captivated my mind. The spirits told him that each of us decided, before we were born, what our life would be like on earth. Some of us were here to learn, while others were here to teach. Sometimes souls chose a life of hardship to provide an opportunity for others to learn. My young mind was burning with questions, but there was nowhere to go to get definitive answers.

In my last year of high school, I received an assignment to critique different versions of the bible and give an oral presentation. The research was eye-opening. Scholars on the bible explained how the bible's messages had changed due to translations and time. Stories had been updated to be more relevant to later generations. I read essays on whether revisions had changed the intended message. The research only fueled my skepticism. I came to the conclusion that spiritual beliefs could not be proven or refuted. It was up to each of us to decide what we wanted to believe. However, as my life experiences accumulated, I began to change my perspective.

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