As the weeks passed. And the more Leo thought, the more he was certain he didn't think he could handle this much longer. He hated the waiting around and not knowing. Each time he thought about the fact of Sara and his doppleganger, Leo cringed. His anger flared. Sara noticed periods of times that Leo headed off whenever they'd be in the middle of family night. Which worried Sara. She could see her husband was taking this harder than thought. But usually left him be. She didn't want the girls getting suspicious of his behaviors and become worried. So Sara stayed with the girls letting Leo have his time alone.
Once Sara sent the girls off to get ready for bed one evening after watching a movie with them. She made her way outside by the porch where Leo was. It was a bit cooler. But still tolerable to be outside. Sara took a deep breath, standing quiet a moment watching Leo as he looked out at the street. "Mind if I join?" She asked. Sara shouldn't of had to even ask. But she was nervous being around Snart these days.
Leo looked up hearing Sara's question, taking a deep breath. "Sara.. I know what I said before.. But I don't know if I can keep up this facade. I thought I could keep pretending for Abby and Lisa.. But I was wrong.." Sara's face turned pale hearing the words coming from Leo. After all these years, with everything they'd been through, it sounded like he was just going to give up. Sara didn't blame him for being angry with her. But she thought in a way he at least understood. This wasn't her fault if it was his doppleganger's. He tricked a lot of them. Until Rip showed himself, Sara had no idea there even was dopplegangers. She had assumed it was her husband. Until recently when Leo told her, she didn't even know about the multi earths theory. Sara noticed Leo didn't respond to her question of if she could join him. So she stayed standing in front of the door.
"Leo.. Please.. Look.. I get you're upset with me. And you have every right to be. I know this is a tricky situation to work with. But please think about the girls.. Don't take it out on them.. They'd miss you if you leave." She whispered. Sara wanted to finish with she'd miss him if he left. But she couldn't. Because by the way it sounded, she wasn't enough for him to stay anymore. Leo sighed. "I have been Sara.. I've tried to focus on them. But that's part of the problem.. Every time I see them.. And think about what my doppleganger did.." Before Leo could say anything else however, they heard the sound of the door open. "Hey.. Lisa wanted me to come down to let you know we were ready for bed. And she wanted me to come get you so you could tuck her in." Abby said nodding her head towards Leo.
Leo took a deep breath glancing at his daughter, then nodded for a response. "Of course." He gave her a small smile. Hoping she couldn't sense anything was wrong. "I'll be up in a moment okay?" He said. Leo could see the look Abby gave. She could see not everything was right. She was old enough to notice his recent behaviors. That something was off.
Sara watched as Abby walked back inside the house. Letting out a sigh as Leo brushed past her to head inside and tuck their two daughters in. Not saying another word. Once he disappeared, she slumped down to the ground, her back leaned against the door, and her face buried in her hands. She'd need to recollect herself before going in to say goodnight to the girls as well.
After a few moments, Sara stood back up, swiping the tears from her eyes before heading in the house and to their room to see how the girls were doing. As she got closer, she stopped just short by the bedroom door, listening to Leo's conversation with their daughters. He wasn't giving any indication to them something was going on. Sara swiped her face once more to make sure there was no evidence of crying before stepping around the corner into the girl's room. She put on a smile as best she could approaching over towards their bed. She leaned forward giving both Lisa and Abby a kiss on their foreheads. "Goodnight girls." She whispered. Giving both of them a hug. Leo stepped back watching Sara with them closely. His eyes closed a moment watching the scene. He was fighting hard not to leave, but it was getting more difficult seeing these sort of scenes. No matter how hard he tried, Leo couldn't put past the thought and image of Sara and his doppleganger. He'd tainted things. Really messed things up for the two of them. Leo knew he shouldn't leave, because that meant his doppleganger won. This was what he wanted. But Leo wasn't as strong as he thought.
While Sara said goodnight to the girls, Leo took his exit quietly out of the room, making his way back downstairs into the living room. Making a small glance around the place. He spotted some of the pictures on the mantle of the fireplace. The one of him and Sara on their wedding day. And a few more of when Abby and Lisa were born, and a few more of the four of them together as a family.
He could try to stay here for them. But he couldn't. He could feel himself angrier by the minute of staying here and the thought of what his doppleganger did. He knew he could be overreacting. For they didn't know yet whether the baby was his or the dopplegangers. He could stay and wait a little while longer for results. But it was driving him mad waiting around a few more months to wait and see. And the angrier he got, he was afraid he'd do something to Sara and the girls he'd regret. So there was no choice but for him to leave, before it became too dangerous for him to stay.
Sara's footsteps coming down the hall from the girl's room pulled him from his thoughts. He looked up as her figure approached closer. "I want to stay Sara.." Leo whispered. Sara noticed his eyes scanning the photos behind her on the mantle. A few of just the two of them. The others when the girls were with. She closed her eyes knowing Leo had his mind made up. Unfortunately, both of them were stubborn enough once their mind was made up, nobody could change it.
"Then stay.." She said quietly. "For me.. For the girls.." Leo opened his eyes and stepped closer towards Sara so he could take both her hands in his. Staring straight into her eyes as he spoke. "I've tried. Believe me I tried. But he sure did a number on us now didn't he?" Leo questioned. "We've never let our enemies win before Snart. So why start now? We may have him taken care of. But even after, you're still allowing him to win even after he's gone!" Sara hissed. Trying to keep her voice low so as not to wake the girls.
Something flashed in Leo's eyes hearing Sara's words. "I'm not letting him win!" He snapped back. He took a deep breath to calm down as he could feel the anger. He didn't want to accidentally do something that would hurt Sara. "You don't understand Sara.." He said in a more calm voice. Sara kept her eyes on Snart's. "Try me."
Leo took some slow deep breaths. "I've tried to ignore it. But every time I see you with Abby and Lisa. I don't know. Something just gets to me. And I can't help but feel angry at the thought. I know it's not under the best of circumstances. It was something that couldn't be helped. But I still can't help feeling this way.. And the more I am here, the angrier I feel each time I think about it. To the point I worry I could become like my dad.. That I'll do something that could hurt you or the girls.. I know I'm hurting either way.. But I feel this is the better option of hurting." He continued to explain keeping his voice low so their daughters couldn't hear. He could see tears falling down Sara's face as he spoke.
"I won't let that happen.." She said giving Leo's hands a gentle squeeze. "After all we've been through. We've been through just as much bad as this. And made it through everything Leo. We can get through this.." Leo swallowed seeing Sara's reaction. He didn't want to lose either of them. And perhaps down the road, when he had time to think, he'd at least come for a visit to see his daughters. If Sara would let him. But for now.. Leo needed to get away and have time to think.
"That's just the thing.. I'm not sure we can." He whispered. Leo hated doing this. But once again, he felt there was no choice. "At least wait until we can see the results." Sara pleaded. "We still have a few months yet before we can even tell." Sara knew that as soon as they knew, and if it wasn't his, Leo would most likely leave. But she wanted to keep him as long as possible. "What about this.. We wait out the few months. When we can do the test to find out whether or not.. If it is not.. You have my permission to leave.. I won't stop you.." Leo closed his eyes hearing Sara's words. She was trying her best to hang on and save them. Just as he'd done these first few weeks. Both ways he was hurting Sara he knew. But this was the better option. At least he wouldn't physically hurt her if he left. But if he stayed, he feared it would get to that point. His anger was building up too much inside him.
"But that's just it Sara.. This waiting around. Is what's getting to me. Driving me mad. I need to get out and away from here. Have time to think.. Alone.." He stated the last words quietly. Sara's breath caught at Snart's words. She couldn't get him to change his mind. Leo turned so he couldn't see the tears that were starting to form in Sara's eyes once more. And so Sara couldn't see his tears that were threatening to fall. "Leo.. Please?" Sara's voice cracked at the one last plea.
"I'm sorry Sara.." He whispered. Sara's eyes closed, as Leo walked out of the door, closing the door behind him, and not looking back.
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Captain Canary: (Book 4)
FanfictionThis is the final book of my Captain Canary. All rights reserved to the D.C writers.
