Mixed up emotions, Confusion, Troubled mind.
Have you ever felt it? That you felt like your head would split apart from the screaming of your mind. Constant pain and noise.
There's nothing to hear but it feels as if someone is constantly bickering with you about pointless and unnecessary things. Voices that come out of nowhere and tells you about how worthless and useless your existence is, even though you know it's not true.
The heavy feeling in your chest that feels as if you're carrying the weight of the world. It hurts and when it does you cry but every time you cry, you hold something back. That's why the pain won't disappear, it only lessens the weight but it's still stuck in your chest because you keep holding on to it. Not wanting to let go because you're scared that if the pain is gone then you might just vanish along with the pain.
Being the way that you are affects the way you interact and the people around you. There are times you wanted to express a different feeling and emotion but something else comes out.
It's scary just thinking about it. You don't know when that swelled up emotion inside of you comes out because it just randomly does and you don't even know what you will do which makes it much scarier. It makes you want to be alone even though you don't want to be alone.
Sigh. Complicated, am I right?
Why do humans have such complex feelings? Why do we possess such emotions that prevent us to function properly?
It's all so simple but we make it so hard and complicated. It's just like math that used to be just addition and subtraction but algebra started to come along.
Everything unnecessary and not needed should be thrown away. That's what I believe but it doesn't have to be that way and its not always that way. We, humans, are constantly scared of losing, sacrificing and risking something especially if it's something very dear and important to us.
We want to improve and change yet we still want things to be the same way. Wait, wait now? I thought you wanted something changes if you do then you must be prepared to lose something. How can you gain something new if you kept holding on to the old ones? Don't be greedy not everything is yours and not everything belongs to you.
Happy yet sad. Angry but emotional. Smart yet stupid. Wise yet foolish.
Good but still bad just like you can be bad but still good.
Everything is so confusing and at the same time so easy to understand.
Interpret and see humans, not as creatures of logic rather as creatures filled with emotions.
