There used to be a time when I never doubt my feelings. It used to be a sincere and genuine feeling.
I was satisfied, contented, and comfortable with how things go.
I was an open person, not to everyone but to people I trust, however, it changed.
I never had confidence in myself, yet I had that little trust in me. It was all I had, but it was also taken away from me.
I began to doubt people, even the people that I cherish and trust. It was a scary feeling because I don't know who to trust. It felt like I have nothing and no one left. Nothing felt real, and everything seemed to be an illusion.
I used to be so comfortable with the people I love. Now, their eyes seemed like a predator staring at its prey even though I know that it's not true. I can't treat them like I used to and I feel uncomfortable with them. I can't even find my comfort zone anymore, everyone looks like an enemy glaring at me.
Everything seems so confusing.
I can't afford to leave yet I can't stay either.
I can't be sad yet I can't smile either.
It's like wanting to save a corpse.
Everything is dead already yet we didn't want to admit the truth because we feel so safe and comfortable to the lies we built.
Maybe I am a coward that wants to run away and just forget it all because everything seems to be so pointless and unnecessary yet there's a part of me that still believes it could be fixed and continue to hold unto hope.
Everything is broken and falling apart but we remain and held on so we play pretend like nothing's wrong and continue the show.
Playing along to the script and story we made to fit our situation so everything would be fine. Acting the role you're given until it breaks you because you didn't want to let it go. Afraid that other's might steal the spotlight and the important role you've worked so hard to obtain.
So you play and act until you break.
How long will you last's at playing pretend?
