Blinding State of Affairs

To The End

Hermione was up early and was sitting by the window, watching the world below her move. So busy with their lives and chaos it was almost peaceful to see more chaos externally than the internal battle she was having. Deciding to do something productive despite her partner's deep sleep, she went to unpack their bags.

It wasn't something she really was set on doing, but more of a mechanical thing she was used to doing due to her son. If she wasn't on top of things, he was a constant reminder of it. In many ways, it reminded her of Remus. She wouldn't have been the woman she was without him. Him and Sirius. It twisted her with emotion as she caressed her abdomen. A memory, swimming to the surface as she gazed down at the ratty football shirt from Hogwarts left to her, made the woman hold back tears.

She was in their flat and folding clothes after Remus took a call. Thinking back, she was maybe fifteen, and Sirius had taken Harry and Ron out to the park for some football practice. By that time, she had become close with Remus, and their friendship was based on books, academic theories, and logical paradoxes; things that Sirius, Harry, and Ron just were not interested in at all.

"Hey there, darlin'," Sirius's voice entered the room.

The weight of his hand touched her shoulder, and she smiled at him. "You know, you are not as fresh as you think, Sirius. You need a shower horribly," her voice was dry despite her smile.

His barking laughter was a hallmark of his charm. "Well, I have to wait for the young bucks to finish up. What are you doing our laundry for? That's why Moony is here; my live-in boyfriend," he snickered before pulling away and stretching out on the sofa near her.

Hermione rolled her eyes and waved her hand at the pile. "It is something to do instead of cleaning the mess you left in the kitchen this morning. Not everything should be left for Remus."

"You are too big for your britches, sweetheart. Some man is going to have to really rise up to your level of standards or bow to your graces for you to be interested later in life." He mused and pulled out a strip of gum from his coat pocket.

"I imagine that would be a sorry sight," she murmured sadly; being ignored by Ron had been taking its toll on her.

Sirius was examining her with a tilt of his head. "You realize that it isn't over until it is over, Hermione. Someone, that one man or woman, is going to be there in moments of true pain and panic for you and you will know. They are the one person meant for you. I may not be in love with Moony, but he is my person. I belong with him and will live out the rest of my days as loyal to him as any wife or child I could have if I tarried elsewhere." He finished, and she couldn't help the tears that rose to her eyes.

"Why is it that some people don't have a happy ending, Sirius? I just feel like that is unfair to you. Don't you want a son?" Her question was a quivering breath.

He smiled and shook his head. "Not one I would have to raise, Hermione. My lot in life has always been taking care of my marauders. James and Lily's death ruined Remus and Peter got himself killed over it. The last thing I ever want to do is bring someone into this world who has to see the worst side of the world through my eyes. Harry was the exception; I did it for James and Lily. I wouldn't have agreed to adopt him if Remus didn't say he would help me." He paused and exhaled slowly.

"If there was a choice in who could have a happy ending in this whole mess, I hope it is you kids. Don't repeat the sins of your fathers and their peers. Live life with the humility and passion I see in you every day. That's what is going to make you a wonderful wife and mother if you choose that path for yourself. You are a good, swotty, girl. Keep proving me right." He finished, and she chewed her lip.