UNTHERAPY || KTH ☠︎

⁰⁰⁵ | pied piper

You laugh suddenly, surprising him. His thumb is tracing over the veins at the back of your hand. You're pulling at the cuticle of your index finger with the nail of your thumb. He watches silently.

The eerie silence has to be filled with something. Anything.

"What- I uh what- do you mean?" You stammer.

His thumb has stopped stroking your hand and he's now looking at the cruel pulls of skin your thumb nail is working into.

His eyes almost willing your nails away from your skin because of the insistent pulling.

"You're suffering from severe PTSD." He comments and you know it. Of course, that's exactly why you're here. To cure yourself of just not your anxiety, but also of your PTSD. Your trauma.

You want to move on.

And not just from the death of your mother. But, also from the break up you went through with Jeon Jungkook.

How, he was the one who asked you out. Got possessive over you, overly protective. Excessively jealous over nothing only for you to find out he had been secretly seeing someone else.

How it broke your heart, because he was there when your mother died, and he outrightly refused to help you.
He knew what you suffered through and took advantage of your broken state and emotionally exploited you.

Took you out on a few good dates and made you fall in love, but spent the rest of the months making you feel absolutely trashy.

And when you found out he was seeing someone else, it costed every ounce of dignity left in you to muster it and break up with him.

But, what broke your heart was that he didn't even protest?

He didn't give an explanation. He didn't ask you to give him another chance, or to relax. Didn't care what you were going through.

All he said was, "Okay. Good luck with your life." And left you there on the library seat alone with your books.

After that, he never even cared to spare you a glance in college. Or on the street. Even after he moved in in the apartment complex same as you, he avoided you like a plague.

Your mind snapped back to the present as tears rapidly fell down your cheeks into your lap. Your skin moistened by the rough past and how you had refused to break down.

Every tear was a witness of how much you had to fight yourself to remain alive. Fight those inner demons that suggested you to take your life.

But, again, what really had you fall in love with Jeon Jungkook..

..Was that he had rushed into the fire and pulled you and your brother out.

He had saved your life.

So now, no matter how much you hated him for cheating on you.. you still owed him your life.

You didn't want to live and you were surely angry at him for meddling in your affairs. What was there to live for? Now that your mom was dead, your father's story unknown. Your brother lost his mind and you were closer to the brink of self-destruction every passing second, what gave him the right to make decisions on whether you live or die? He should have let you and your brother burn out and get reduced to ashes to rejoin your mother.