Midnight thoughts

33- Emasculated

What do you want from me? Why aren't you that clear? Just say it and let me be. Don't you know what you want from me? Well I'm gonna tell you.

You want a daughter that complies, doesn't argue, doesn't complain, that just says yes with her head bowed down and run to complies your orders. What she is doing doesn't stop you from ordering her around. Because what she is doing isn't that important to you. It's only you that matters. Even if she was studying you wouldn't care. It isn't even your buisness to decide whether what she is doing is important or not, and you have no right to be angry at her if she doesn't complies immediately. She is not your helper. She is you daughter.

You daughter who has no right to argue, or to express her opinion because in your eyes she is always wrong, and you are always right. She shouldn't have an opinion. She shouldn't state her thoughts. She should just work on shores you demand from her without her complaining whatever she is doing. And god forbid your sons do that sort of work. They will probably be emasculated if they do shores. Or I'm sure you wouldn't want to bother him since he's studying and it is important for him to study and not bother him or make a single noise. And don't try to sell me with the fact that your 12-year-old son does the shores when your daughter defies your orders. I'm pretty sure when he's of age you will most likely treat him like his elder, because well, he's a boy, and it's girls' responsibility to take care of the shores not the boys. Their masculinity is so fragile that we shouldn't put that toll on their shoulders.

But maybe it is my fault for being born a girl or my fault for being raised in a toxic masculine minded household, or even if my fault to be born in this hell of a country.

Sorry if I couldn't comply with your demands of having your perfect little helper of a daughter. But I'm me. You can't control me. You can't change that. You can't erase my opinion. You just have to live with it, if you realize all of this. But if you don't, then I only have to bear with it till I move out.

24042020