49- Thankful

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My life is doing great and I should be thankful for it. I'm finishing my master's (I don't know when though), I have a job (but I don't know when I'm getting paid), I have a house (which doesn't feel like home), food on the table (barely, and I don't have the appetite for it), I have both parents alive and well (that I hate and never provide me comfort), and a loving girlfriend (which I never seize to get on her nerves without my intention). But I should be thankful for having all of those. Some people don't have them, and I do. Yeah, I should be thankful for having all of these combined if I restrain on seeing the negative side. But why am I not thankfull? Why am I always complaining? Why does everyone get mad at me and I don't know how to stop it. Why is my mind always messy. I wanna fix myself but I don't know how. I don't wanna feel like a burden to anyone but I keep messing up. How do I stop messing up everything good?


19102020

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