Sometimes I think about that night. I think about everything that wrong. I think about everything we've done. Sometimes I think about that night. And I regret it. I regret it, thinking, what if I didn't accept to go through it. What if nothing happened back then. Would we still be talking t oeach other? Would we still be friends?
Friends... Sometimes I mock myself for thinking we were even friends. Or maybe that's what I made myself think. That we were friends. Would 2 persons trusting each other with all our secrets be considered friends? Because I did. And so did you. Or at least that's what you've hinted. One time you did tell me, confirming it.
It's true that all you wanted was one thing. And I accepted to go through it. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that it was a one sided thing. I did too take advantage of you. Everything you used to tell me, every word you said to me, we're a huge ego booster for me. And I liked that feeling. I liked that I was the one making you feel like that. And I knew that there were others. But I was just happy with our current situation.
I was happy with it. I was happy with everything we talked about. Everything we did. I was so happy about it that I had to ruin it somehow. Like I've ruined any other things in my life. I was so happy about it, that now, I couldn't have it again. It was all gone. And it is all because of me. All because I didn't say no. Because I didn't want you to think any differently of me. Because I didn't want you to think that I didn't have the balls the do it.
But I guess that's what I got in the end. Only because I couldn't utter that single fucking word. I've ruined it all.
17122018
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Midnight thoughts
PoetryThe title says it all. What anyone would think of, late at night, gathered in here. Because why not. (I promise you the chapters get better as you go, I'm continuously writing more and more chapters and I'll be more than glad to see if any of you ca...
