Midnight thoughts

43- Valuable

Are you aware that by telling to change friends, you're basically telling me to rebuild every relationship I ever had in my life? Are you aware of the amount of effort I put in every friendship? Are you aware that you want me to give that up? Give up the trust, the memories, the good times, the bad times, the moments we stuck to each others, the moments we helped each other grow, the moments we had fun, the road trips, the outings, the conversations, the crying, the laughing.... You want me to give everything up. You want me to forget about everything. You want me to start again with new people? That's what you want me to do?

Do I seem like someone who could give that up easily? Because if so, that means that I'm a person who values nothing. I'm a person that doesn't see any thing's worth. I'm a person that just pass time and everyone and everything around me is just meaningless. If I give all that up, it would mean that everyting was just a big lie.

But I'm not like that. I'm a person that values the past, and values the history I had with each person. I'm someone who values every time someone stuck with me. I'm a person who values every individuals who values my presence, and values me overall.

And I'm definetly not someone ready to reinvest into new relationships and friendships, and new people that might let me forget about the old ones. First, I got no energy and no time to do that all over again, and second why need to do that if I already have it all? Why do I need to rebuild everything from scratch if I already have friends that I trust and who know my worth?

So no, I would never give up in anyone, or give up anyone just because someone, whoever they might be, told me too. It's my choice to do. It's my decision to take. Because I'm not someone who easily replaces someone who once was important to me.

22082020