Who's the last person who made you cry?
What if you can't answer that with one name. Because the reason of you crying isn't just a single human being. The reason of you crying, and crying constantly, is the baggage of hurt you've been carrying because of constantly thinking about what all those people did to you, thinking about every single thing you ever did with them, thinking about every emotion you felt back then, or with them, [over] thinking anything and everything related to those people, and eventually, starting to think about all the little things wrong with you, how you always fuck up things, how you act stupidily and carelessly without noticing, how you are self-centred and selfish, how you never thought of any other person other than yourself -but you actually did-,
how messed up of a person you are, how fucked up of a human being you are.
Have you ever been through that? Have you ever thought you had no one next to you? So you cry and cry and cry...
You think you're a messed up person, fucked up all the way. You start crying about the stupidest shit you do everyday. Crying about how stupid you have been and still are. Crying for craving attention. Crying for rejecting attention when given. Crying for absolutely everything .
Crying to find a release. Crying to help the pain you constantly feel, to go away. Crying for self healing, you say.
But you cry; every night, you cry before going to sleep. You cry yourself to sleep. That's what you do. You cry because you have no one to confide to. Or because you think so. Your friends and family are here with you, they're standing right next to you but you think you're a burden to them and that they're obligated to stand by you. You feel that no one cares to listen to your stupid pointless shit. No one wants to hear about your fucked up love life, your fake friends, your crush that never notices you, the person you actually like being with someone else after everything you've been through. Your pointless life events you keep whining about and everyone's tired to listen to. So you keep trying to confide to yourself and you end up crying at the end because no one's gonna be a better listener than you.
So you just try to cry for a release.
08042018
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Midnight thoughts
PoésieThe title says it all. What anyone would think of, late at night, gathered in here. Because why not. (I promise you the chapters get better as you go, I'm continuously writing more and more chapters and I'll be more than glad to see if any of you ca...
