Love Stories Over A Cup Of Coffee

Eighteen: Tears

How long will it take me to the hospital? I've been going to the hospital for years and it never felt this long.

I need to be there immediately. I need to. He is waiting for me there.

Please. Please. Please wait for me. Please fight for your life.

Mother is crying when I arrived. Everyone is at the waiting area. P'Push, Boun, Earth parents, and P'March.

I asked mother what happened but she couldn't find a word to say. She's just crying constantly. I've seen a lot of people cry at this waiting area, hoping that the doctor say that the operation was successful. I never thought that I would be here, doing the same thing.

P'Push said they were eating dinner when father sudden fell down. They immediately rushed him to the hospital.

The operation took four hours. We all felt relieved when the head surgeon said that father is now okay but still have to be monitored at the ICU.

P'Push and Boun went home to get mother's things. I stayed with mother.

"You know what, last night, we were just talking about you. He wanted to celebrate your birthday but he was having a second thought about it because you've always defied him." Mother said as she holds my father's hand. "Your father has always been so happy of what you have done and achieved in your life. He was so happy that you live your life the way you've always wanted." She paused. I did not say a word. "You know what, he has always been worried about you. Unlike Push and Boun, you seldom talk to other people, you do not like socializing. He got so frustrated in the past because he was worried that other people might take advantage of you, or you may not be able to express how you feel and do what you want. You should have seen how happy he was when you started getting along with Earth. He was so happy because finally, his son has a friend, and finally his son started to talk and express himself more. Maybe that's why he never said a word when the news broke out about your engagement."

"But you know, right?" I asked mother. I saw her smile.

"Of course. We know. You are our children. Just one look and we know already." She said.

"Then, why did you not say a word?"

"Because, son, your father said, you are the happiest, and the most talkative, when you are with Earth. He has always wanted to see you like that. After all, as parents, all we wanted is your happiness."

The Old Man and P'Apple came to the hospital to give me some clothes and food to eat. Earth is still in Chiang Mai but he has been constantly calling me to check on me. Fluke has been on duty every other night, after all, he still has to attend classes in the morning. Ohm has also visited twice already, to check on Fluke as well.

And tonight, another visitor came.

She still looks the same. She is still the person I used to know. She gave me the usual smile. But her eyes are sad.

"P'Kao." She said as she hug me.

I hugged her back. "Heart."

We let go of each other.

"How are you feeling, Phi?" She asked me, her voice as sweet as ever.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." I assured her.

These past few days, I've been reassuring everyone that I am fine. I have to, because this is the time that I have to be strong for mother.

"How about your father?" She asked me.

"He's still in ICU but he's doing fine." I forced a smile to reassure her again that everything is alright. "Why are you here, by the way." Because she still have months to spend in Germany.

She gave me another sad smiled. "I came home after hearing what happened to your father, Phi. I wanted to be here for you, at this very moment."

I smiled at her to show my gratitude. "You don't have to. But thank you so much." Did she really care that much about me? If so, why, why did she never called or even message me all these months she's in Germany? Why?

It's already midnight but everyone is still here accompanying me and Fluke. P'Apple and Fluke are currently peeling some fruits. The Old Man is talking with Heart.

The door suddenly opened, revealing a panting Earth. When he was able to catch his breath, he looked around the room, trying to find me. When he did, he murmured my name. He ran to me and hugged me tightly. That's when I lost it. I cried. This time, not silently like the previous nights. This time, I am crying for real, letting my tears flow.

"What do you think of first love?" The Nong was asked. He thought for a second.

"First love? Will always be the first love. The first love will be the one to set the standard. And even if the first love was the reason for your first heartbreak, the first love will always have a special place in your heart. After all, every first in this world is always memorable. But don't get me wrong. Not because the first set the standard doesn't mean that it should always be the standard. Sooner or later, there will come a time that a person will walk into your life to show you a higher standard. For my case, my first love will always and foreve have a place in my heart. We have a very good relationship, we treat each other like family. I owe him a lot of things, and I could never ever get angry at him. But from the very beginning, I know that what we have cannot and will not blossom into something that I wanted it to be. There were times I had hopes, but reality is such a bitch, always slapping me with the truth. But I treasure that person so much that being just beside him throughout this life, not as a lover, but maybe a friend or a family is enough." The Nong answered.

"But what if it ends in a bad way? Will it still have a special place in your heart?" The Nong is once again asked. He laughed.

"Good or bad, memories and experiences will always be memories and experience. We cannot change what has been done. But I believe that we are always given the choice of correcting the wrong in our present or learning from the bad memories and experiences. If my first love left me with bad memories and experiences, I will definitely take note of them so as those bad things will not happen again." The Nong answered again.

"Who's your first love?" The Nong is once again asked. This time, his confidence somewhat lessened.

"I met him a long time ago. That was so long time ago I almost forgot who he is." The Nong briefly answered.

"Have you confessed to him?" Another question.

"Never ever. I tried many times, but things just happen the way they are. I guess destiny has always been against it." Another answer.

"What if you're given another chance with your first love?" This question tickled the Nong's heart and he doesn't even know why.

"Another chance? Wow, I never thought of that. But maybe you can call it chance now that I've seen him again." The Nong replied.

The one asking the questions smiled. She has been asking the silly question about first love because of her friend who had a bad experience with his first love. She wanted to make a point that first loves, whether good or bad, will always be in everyone's heart.

"You know what," she began to tell the Nong, "don't waste any chances, okay? For your first love to love back into your life, it means there is something. It could be a closure, it could be to remind you of something, or it could be destiny telling you that you are prepared enough to give the love you have always wanted to give that person and mature enough to understand the love that that person can give you. All you have to do is to find the answer. Which of them is the answer. And if you ask me where you could find the answer, it is always within you. Think about it."