Love Stories Over A Cup Of Coffee

Catch

It's a gloomy Sunday morning. The rain is pouring outside. It's just 5:30 but I can smell the scent of coffee. So I decided to go down the kitchen.

I saw P'Apple sitting on the dining table, facing the pool outside. She's just literally staring outside. But this is not surprising. She's probably clearing her mind. It's like a meditation for her.

It's almost a year already since I met her but I feel like I do not know her that much yet. But like what she likes to tell us, allow time to reveal what it has to reveal. We cannot force others just because we are curious.

"P'Apple," I said to catch her attention and to tell her I'm here.

"Fluke, why are you awake so early?" She asked but I bet she isn't surpised at all.

"The rain woke me up, P." She did not ask further question.

I made my coffee and sat where Manager usually sits.

We're seated in silence for a while.

"You want to ask me something?" She took a sip.

I'm hesitant to ask but I gathered my courage. "P', P'Ohm" I paused. "Me" I paused again.

"There's nothing wrong about it." P'Apple said before I could even finish my sentence.

"But,P'...P'Ohm and I,"

"You're both men?" She did not let me finish my sentence again. I nodded. "Tell me Fluke, do you like Ohm?" Why is she asking me something so obvious?

"Why do you ask P?"

"Well, the way I see it, you've never said it."

"What do you mean P?" I didn't get what she want to say.

"Have you ever recognized your feelings for him? Have you ever accepted it?" She took another sip.

Why do I even need to do it.

P'Apple looked at me. Even in darkness, I saw her eyes, exuding care and warmth. "Fluke, you have to recognize your own feelings. Otherwise, you'll easily get confused. You have to know how you feel towards a certain person. That way, you will know how to act, you will be able to send the right signals, and you will not be able to hurt others."

"But P, P'Ohm and I are both men. And I still don't know how he feels about me." Finally, I admitted what makes me wary about this whole situation.

P'Apple took a deep breath. "Hmmm, did your mother fell for your father because he is a man? Did Princess Diana fell for Prince Charles because he is a man? Did my father married my mother because she is a woman?" She looked at me, "what do you think? Do people fall for the gender?

I did not answer immediately because I thought she will give the answer, but no, she was just looking at me, waiting for me to answer.

"Umm, no, P'."

"So, what do you think made them fall for each other? Or at least make one love the other?" She asked.

"I do not know P." I couldn't really think of another answer.

"Exactly." She exclaimed. I think I gave her a puzzled look so she explained. "You love when you love. Nothing's deeper than love being the very reason for loving someone. And you know what's amazing about love?" I shooked my head. "It transcends everthing, race, gender, culture, country, and sexuality, everything."

"But, P', how about what others are going to say?" I asked her.

She let out a deep sigh. "It's sad, isn't it, that we humans are trapped within the things we constructed. Society will always judge you for whatever you will do in life. There is no way of pleasing them. The important thing to ask is, does their opinion matters to you so much? If someone say yes, I couldn't blame them if that is the only thing they see to survive, if that's what will keep them going. If someone says no, good for them to freely do what their hearts desire. Always remember that you are the one who is in control of your life. It will always be your decision to listen to others or not, to love Ohm or not, to love or not. So, you must ask yourself what is really important."

I did not say anything for a while, I was trying to digest what P'Apple just said.

"And if you worry about Ohm's feelings," she suddenly said, "who ever said that love should always be reciprocal?"

"P?" That's all I said.

"You can always love who ever you want to love. But loving someone doesn't always mean the feeling will be reciprocated. Some are lucky. But for some, it's not always the case. You might think that its martyrdom to love if not reciprocated, but for me, how can you say you love that person if you are expecting something in return? And isn't it too selfish to require the other person to love you back?"

I'm confused now. "So, P', how do you go about it then?"

She smiled. "Just love that person. Give the love that you can give."

"But..., aren't you wasting your time, I mean loving someone who do not love you back?"

"There's no time wasted in showing a person how much you love them."

I did not say a word anymore, I'm getting more confused.

After P'Apple finished her coffee, she stood up and wash her cup in the kitchen.

"Fluke," she suddenly spoke, "don't be afraid, okay? Face your own emotions, recognize and deal with them. And by the way, Ohm seems like a person who is not expressive through his words. You have to look into the details. And I believe, he's just waiting something to come from you."