Love Stories Over A Cup Of Coffee

Nineteen: One Night

It's been weeks since my father got discharged from the hospital. Thankfully he is getting better now day by day. I have to go home for a while to look after him, after all, I'm a doctor.

Ring.

It's Heart. She asked me to meet her at the hospital garden.

She's already there when I arrived. I sat beside her silently. I saw she smiled as I sat.

She's wearing a white coat. She might have returned to the hospital.

"P'Kao, I'm going back to Germany." She began. I just nodded. I was trying to focus at the tree 500 meters away from because I couldn't look at her. "I have to finish what I have started, right?" She tried so hard to sound happy.

"Right." I said as I nodded.

Silence. All we could hear is the sound of the leaves rustling. Surprisingly, we are the only people in the garden. Maybe because it's already dinner time.

I heard her let out a deep sigh.

"You know what, sometimes, I ask myself how we ended up together." I can see her via my peripheral vision that she's looking at the sky. "You're this silent type senior who is very serious with work. Sometimes, I even ask myself if I'm just dreaming. But everytime we are together, you made me feel that everything is real. I really liked it. I was so happy, I feel so accomplished, because it's you, P'Kao."

Silence. I don't know what to say. And I don't know what she's getting at.

"But then, there's someone who always reminds me that I'm have not achieved that much." She said it so sadly that I immediately looked at her. I wanted to ask her what she meant but she immediately said something. "That's person always gets your attention. Or maybe you always pay attention to that person." I saw her smile.

"What do you mean?" I asked her. She looked at me straight into the eyes. Tears are forming in her eyes, any second they'll fall.

"Remember when I asked you if you want me to go? I was really hoping for you to tell me not to go. Because I wanted you to tell me that you wanted me beside you just like how you wanted that person to stay beside you. You know what, I was so envious  whenever you scold that person, because you never did that to me. It always reminds me of parents scolding their children when they did something wrong or bad because they love them. I wanted to be scolded because I wanted to feel that you also care about me, P'Kao." Her tears now rolling down her face.

"What do you mean." I asked her.

She closed her eyes. Took a deep breath. "I think we should end whatever is there between us, P'Kao." She said. She might have seen how confused I was. "P'Kao, it's time for you to face that feelings you've kept in the deepest part of you heart for years. It's time to be true to yourself."

"What are you taking about? Are you saying my feelingsfor you aren'treal? It's real." I assured her.

She nodded as she wipe the tears on her face. She forced a smile. "I know Phi. I felt it, I've seen it. And I'm thankful for it." Her hand reach out my cheek. She caressed it. "Thank you, P'Kao for loving me." Her tears continue to fall. "But I think this is the farthest that our relationship could take."

"Why?" I asked her. I'm still getting confused.

"Because you deserve it P'Kao. And that person deserves it more than anyone else " she said with sadness in her eyes.

"Who are you talking about?" I asked her again.

"Are you sure you don't know?" She stood up. I also stood up. "I have to go now, P'Kao. I still have patient waiting for me."then she started walking.