Should I Tell? / l.h

Chapter 31

"what do you want me to say Lex? I'm sorry please forgive me, you know it would be a load of crap so what's the point?"

"the point is, I at least deserve an explanation, an apology, I want to know why the hell you've ignored me for the last three weeks when it seems like you've been perfectly fine! One minute you're calling me your girlfriend and the next I'm nothing to you!" I can't help but shout, all the hate I've had about Luke has come to this

"nothing, that's what has happened the last three weeks Lex, you think I wanted to ignore you, I didn't but it was easier, it was easier than having to look at you and feel guilty, I had nothing to give you and I wanted better for you, I'm the type of guy to get people into car crashes and ruin their lives, so I thought if I left you alone you'd move on" he tried to break up with me?

"wow, I can't believe you, seriously Luke?"

"what?"

"you think I want this, you think I want to feel like this, I hate the person I am when I'm not with you Luke! These last few weeks have been hell for me, I don't where I stand with you but come to think of it, I never have! I fell for a guy who I thought I had no chance with, but turns out he liked me too and it was great, but then it was nothing like I expected, you are nothing like I expected"

"what did you expect? I bet you expected dates and presents, good morning and good night texts, all the stuff you see in the movies about relationships, well guess what, I'm not like that Lexie, I'm quite the opposite and you thought I would really change for you!" I didn't think he would, but that was low

"no I didn't, but I thought you would at least try, I'm guessing anything an everything you ever said to me was a lie wasn't it? did you even like me?"

"I meant every word I've ever said to you Lex, and I do like you, I like you a lot but," does he ever finish his sentences

"but what Luke?"

"it's nothing, you should just go" what the hell? I can't keep up with him

"no, I'm not leaving until you tell me"

"you fell for me huh?" seriously?

"isn't it obvious? but what's that got to do with anything?"

"it has everything to do with it Lex, because you know what, I fell too and I'm scared as hell and I guess me ignoring you was my way of dealing with how I felt" he what? should I believe him? he said everything he's ever said to me was the truth and I believe him about that but three weeks?

"but that doesn't justify ignoring me for three weeks Luke, I thought you were sick and I find out that all this time you were purposely ignoring me for what? to let me move on, it's not okay for you to let me think that something was wrong with you!"

"I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but you should move on, I'm not right for you Lexie" damn it, I'm about to look like a fool, but I don't care

"I don't want to move on, there is no moving on for me Luke, it's you I want to be with and it always has been and who cares if we're not right for each other because I don't want perfect or easy, I want you" I sound desperate and maybe I am but if it's what it takes then I'll do it

"Lexie," he has got to stop doing that, after a few seconds he goes to speak again but stops, then again and again and each time I grow more impatient

"just say it Luke" I know what he's going to say, but he has to say it for me to believe it, "you have to say it" it came out as a whisper, which I didn't intend but I felt tears begin to form and he took a deep breath,

"I want you too Lex, I want all of you, I want the crazy you that goes nuts for chicken, I want the sweet you that wouldn't harm a soul or purposely hurt anyone, I want the innocent you that doesn't have a clue what she's getting herself into but does anyway, I want you at every hour of everyday for as long as I can, but what if I mess it up? I don't think I could handle it if I hurt you Lex" that's all he needed to say for me to believe him

"you won't mess it up and if you do, I'll stay because this isn't suppose to be easy and I'm not in it for easy, I'm in it for you" hopefully he believes me too

"you really wanna do this?" he looks at me approvingly an I nod willingly, and that's all it took for him to kiss me, finally.