Amy's POV
My phone is overloading with messages off family and friends, whilst my desk is overloading with work files. Gabi's first birthday is tomorrow and her party is this weekend, but instead of my workload decreasing for my day off tomorrow the files only seem to be growing.
My brothers are all texting me last minute gift ideas for what to get Gabi, whilst my mom is texting me everyday to ask if I've ordered my wedding dress yet, which I'm doing on Sunday - the day after Gabi's party. At lunch Charles begins to suggest strange foods to have at Gabi's part and I almost snap at him, but instead walk away and FaceTime Jakes mom to see my little girl.
When her face appears on my phone a smile grows on my face and once Gabi sees me she starts reaching forward to grab the screen.
Even though I've heard it hundreds of times over the past month since Gabi said her first word, when she says "mama" pointing to the screen my heart swells with joy all over again and my smile grows. Jake and I had a bet as to whether Gabi would say 'mama' or 'dada' first, which I won resulting in Jake having to do her diaper changes for a week. After she said 'mama' for the first time, it only took her a couple of weeks to say 'dada' and soon every time one of us entered the room she would call out.
My lunch break is soon over and instead of actually eating during it, I spend the whole time on the call with Karen and Gabi, leaving me to eat my lunch at my desk. Jake comes back from his door duty not long after I finish eating and he sits in the chair next to my desk instead of his own desk.
When ten more messages come through on my phone, a mixture of Gabi's birthday and potential wedding vendors, I finally break and walk off to the evidence locker. I pace around the room for a matter of minutes, overwhelmed by the amount of work I have.
Jake walks into the room and walks to the back wall, where I'm currently pacing the length of the floor, a couple of tears running down my face. He stops and me pulls me in for a hug, rubbing my back soothingly and hushing me like he does our daughter.
"Ames, what's this all about?"
"I can't be a good mom and handle the workload." I admit, breaking into sobs. "I can't manage all the work I'm getting, potentially look at prepping for the sergeants exam, plan a wedding and raise a daughter, planning her 1st birthday. I can't do it Jake and I'm failing as a mom, I'm failing as a fiancée."
My words fade into his chest and I hesitate about pulling away before his shirt gets wet with my tears, but Jake just pulls me closer to him, placing small kisses on the top of my head. As my tears slow down, Jake releases me out of his grip and holds me at arms length with one hand, wiping the remaining tears off my face with the other.
"Ames, you are not failing as a mom. You are the best mom ever to our little princess. Have you seen the way she looks at you? The moment she sees you a smile grows on her face, she can't stop saying 'mama' and will do her adorable wobbly couple of steps followed by a crawl over to you. She laughs at you everyday and when she's crying, she rests when she's in your arms. Over this past year, you've done nothing but love her and protected her. You couldn't be doing anything better as a mom. As for being my fiancée, I will be the decider of that one, and if you ask me there's no chance you're failing as my fiancée. We're planning our dream wedding and you've given me my dream daughter and you're my dream girl. You're the most amazing fiancée I could ever ask for and there is no one in the world who could be more perfect for me. At work, it's going to feel stressful for these first couple of months, coming back off maternity leave, but if there's anyone that can ace their work it's you. You have to trust me on that one, you're the best detective in the nine-nine, I just admitted that out loud. There's no pressure on you to take the sergeants exam babe, if you want to take it I will be there to support you every step of the way even when you're singing songs from the Great American Song Book at 2 in the morning, oh as long as you promise to never stress braid Gabi's adorable curls. I'm sure if you take it you will ace it, but you don't have to do it just yet if you don't want to, you can wait until the next exams, but there's nothing stopping you taking it this time." Jake says, rubbing circles with his thumbs onto the back of my hands.
