Leo Valdez x reader (oneshots and the Fire Elementalist series)

Fire Elementalist: 3

TYPE: first part is angsty, but it gets kind of fluffy at the end
T/W: slight mention of depression/anxiety; goodbye note from Beckendorf that made me cry while writing it
CONTEXT:
- read chapter "Memory lane" to understand your connection to Beckendorf

Enjoy, darlings 💜

• • •

Your POV

I walked back to my cabin as fast as I could without running. I didn't want people to know why I was running. But I really wanted to read that note Beckendorf left for me.

After a gruesome five minutes, I finally ran up the porch of cabin 3 and went inside. I tried to sit on my bed to calm myself but I was just too anxious. I started pacing around allowing a few tears to fall.

I took a shaky breath and sat on the foot of my bed. I missed my brother but for now, I'm glad he wasn't here to see me in this state. I hadn't told him about Beckendorf yet. I know he would accept Beckendorf if he ever knew but given what happened. He would just be devastated. He would start blaming himself and he would just feel guilty all the time. I didn't want to put that pressure on him.

I pulled out the note and began to sob.

Dear (y/n),

I guess this is as hard on you as it is for me, but I know after this quest, I wouldn't come back alive. I've dreamt about this for weeks now. I guess I'm writing you this because I'd lose my words if I tell you in person. I wanted to make sure I left nothing out. So here it goes...

I love you. Maybe not in a romantic way, but I do know that deep down I feel some kind of love for you. Just a bit too much to be platonic but not enough to be romantic. Whatever it is, I deeply care about you. I know me falling in love with Silena might have been awkward for us, but I really do love her that way. For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me.

"It's not your fault," I muttered as tears fell and stained the paper.

I also know that Silena is the spy. We were on a date when my hands brushed against the bracelet on her wrist. I felt it's signals pulsing through it. I wanted to deny it, but eventually, I knew it had to happen. I forgive her for everything she's done because I love her, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her too, because I know deep down, under that fierce stance and tough face you always put on, you are a warm and caring person.

Finally, for my last wish for us, I want us to have closure. I care for you and from this point forward, I hope you can move on without a heavy heart. I wish you and Percy the best, and the gang as well. I hope you find someone great who will love and care for you more than I ever could. One day you will be with them, spend the rest of your days with them, and until then, I will wait for you guys down here in Elysium.

Thank you for being a part of my life, (y/n) Kane. Keep your head high and your smile wide.

Love,
Charlie

P.S. please tell the others that I love them too. I'm sorry, and goodbye. I hope this serves as closure for everything that's happened. Thank you guys. You made my life worth living and the world worth saving.

I was full on sobbing at this point. He even used his nickname Charlie instead of Charles. I was so glad I was alone in this cabin right now. I threw pillows across the room. I ripped bedsheets off of the mattresses. I smashed anything that could be smashed. At the end of my tantrum, I felt a bit better. I was still a mess but something did feel satisfying.