Leo Valdez x reader (oneshots and the Fire Elementalist series)

a/n: I'm starting a new tag challenge

Just skip to the challenge part if u don't wanna read my angsty rants. The start is marked with lots of emojis somewhere so u can't miss it.

I'm honestly having a hard time getting inspiration to write and lately I've been feeling down. Maybe it's PMS, maybe it's anxiety, maybe it's both.

My brain likes to do this thing where it overthinks on things that most probably aren't true, or events that happened either a long time ago or recently. I usually tell myself that maybe I'm not a good person. But these past few weeks, it felt more and more real that I'm a terrible person. I may be focusing more on the bad things that I do/did.

So here's my PSA for now while I work on Percy's late birthday chapter:

I'm probably not a good person. I'm probably a horrible person. I don't know if I'll be a good person ever, or at least good enough to be good. You might not know if you're a good person or a terrible person. But we're people and we change. We can always learn. Maybe I'm not a good person but at least I make sure to be better than who I was yesterday.

I try to say thank you more often. I do my best to admit when I'm wrong and apologize about that. I learn from my past mistakes and try not to do those again. Yes, sometimes I slip. But I'm really, really trying.

I really need to get these off my chest. You guys may hate me for these things I've done, but I just want to say that these are things that I used to be, and I want y'all to remember that people can change. I've been seeing a lot of unhealthy debates over serious situations or mediocre things. So here it goes.

I, sipnalita, am creating this tag challenge for us to realize how far we've come, and how healthy discussion and education should make us better people.

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✨ CHALLENGE PART HERE✨
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I call this the Apology Challenge (it's an apology to everyone and yourself):

1. Write things that you USED TO BE (but no longer are) that when you look back at that you want to punch yourself for being a douche. Doesn't matter how light, heavy, specific or how many you write. State why you've acted that way. After you state how you learned you were wrong and what you do/did to be a better person.

2. Write things you do/are NOW that you think you can improve on to become a better person. Again, doesn't matter how light, heavy, specific or how many.

3. Things you do/are NOW that you're proud about.

Tag as much people as you want to do this challenge. (Remember to screen cap these guidelines for them)

I'll go first, of course.

1. Things I USED TO BE but no longer are

a. Transphobic. Yes, probably 5 or 6 years ago, I was a transphobic bitch. The reason why I was like this was because here in the Philippines (especially in high school), we weren't educated about gender orientation and sexuality. All we knew was the sex was biological and sexuality was your attraction. No one told me that gender and sexuality were different things. So I thought trans people were people who crossed dressed and weren't happy with the natural gift they were given when they were born. That train of thought I had back then was of course, fucking bullcrap. It also didn't help that a lot of mg mentors were very religious and/or traditional. It was only in my last one or two years in high school that I saw an infographic about gender and sexuality on the internet that I fully understood how your gender identity is totally separate from your sex and sexuality and how I was wrong to have thought that way about trans people. Luckily, my uni is more open minded and one of my socsci profs discussed this in depth in class. I want to apologize to everyone, especially the trans community, for the way I thought back then. I didn't ridicule trans people blatantly, but I did express the way I felt to one of my close friends. I'm really sorry for that. What I do now to be a better person and ally to all members of the LGBTQ+ community is, first of all, to educate myself. After I educated myself that what I was doing was wrong, I made sure to show support, like using the proper pronouns (or they, if I don't know their gender) and advocating for equality for all, and continuing to educate myself. I cannot express enough how truly sorry I am and how disgusted I am of how I used to think.

b. Grammar Nazi. Oh my goodness I hate myself for being this. Yeah, sure grammar is important but bleh, having to correct people all the time? Communication is not just verbal. There's also a nonverbal aspect, a large reason as to why we understand people even though their grammar is not good. Or sometimes you just get the gist of what someone is trying to say and it really isn't necessary to correct STRANGERS PUBLICLY (who, may I add, are probably not naturally English speakers). I see comments of people who publicly ridicule strangers for their bad English and it annoys the shit out of me every time. I can't believe I used to be a grammar nazi when grammar isn't really that important. GASP! Yes, I said it, grammar ain't that important because we're smart people who don't need to follow intricate rules just to get the gist of what someone is saying, even though when it seems confusing. Because guess what, there's something called... CONTEXT!!! (Wow sorry this turned into a rant about grammar nazis it almost sounds hypocritical of me). Just correct other people's grammar in a polite way and when it is absolutely necessary, 'kay?

2. Things I'm not so proud of now

a. My anger. I'm usually patient and very kind and approachable but sometimes, I just snap so hard. A few weeks ago, I yelled at my brother so hard we both started crying over a stupid thing I got mad about. I'm trying to be more patient and understanding, and when I feel pissed off at someone (especially someone close to me), I think of at least one good thing that I would miss about them if, you know. Then that anger would slowly turn into appreciation then I have more things to be thankful about.

3. Things I'm proud of about myself now

a. I try to be a better person everyday. Maybe I'm not a good person, but at least I do my best to be better than who I was yesterday. Baby steps is key.

b. Tbh, I'm not good with kids (because my patience just takes no bullshit when I'm around them). But lately I've realized I'm getting better at being patient and understanding them when I joined this org that tells children's stories to children in schools, orphanages, hospitals, or anywhere in general, where we think our service is most needed.

c. I acknowledge that I'm not perfect, I make a shit ton of mistakes, but I learn from them. I educate myself and apologize for the wrongs things I do.

Tagging:
anita147_268
dAughter-of-poseid0n
Rick_Riordanizlife (there we go, wattpad's not lagging anymore)
sincerelykelseyy

I hope people don't take this the wrong way, or that my timing's bad. The reason why I did this is to get it off my chest and hopefully forgive myself, and also to just be honest and show that no one's perfect, but we can always be better. And I hope you guys feel that way too. I also want to show how important it is to have healthy debate and education, because it can really change someone's life.

Again, I'm really sorry and I hope y'all understand, darlings 💜