Absolutely Not

37

"You can go in."

Sasuke walked in the door his feet carried him to the third seat he sat in front of his mother. The prison was as expected, disgusting. Full of people visiting but not full of smiles, mainly there were tears.

Sasuke looked at his mother through the glass. She looked so different. Her hair was shorter, her eyes were duller, she had a distinct look of anger and regret on her face. She put her hand up to the glass. He glared at it, she pointed to the old phone and picked it up, he did the same.

"Hello Sasuke."

Sasuke took the phone away from his ear the second he heard her voice. It was rough and grainy, she sounded like she had a cold. He didn't like that she said his name so casually. He felt she was tainting it.

He took a deep breath and put the phone back up to his ear. He could hear her breathing, disgusting.

"You've grown so much." She smiled at him. He could see the resemblance of her and Itachi and himself. They both looked so much like their mother.

Sasuke didn't know where to start. He didn't have a clue what to say, he had thought he had it together. He was going to go and get everything off his chest, he was hoping he would sleep better. But now that he's here, staring at her, remembering what she did, he felt sick. He felt dirty. He felt like he shouldn't be there.

"I came here so I can put you to rest. I want you to know that I'm seeing someone, and happy. And my brother and father are also happy. I want you to look at me and realize you threw your life away for nothing."

He took a deep breath his eyes widened he was starting to find his confidence here.

"I see that. I'm proud of you."

Sasuke looked up he could see the tears falling from her eyes. He felt his heart drop. He felt sorry for her. But he shouldn't because she did so much to him!

Sasuke set the phone down he shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. He has to ask, he has to get it out there. Even if she lies, he'll take the lie and never think about her again. She was not his mother after today.

"Why did you sell me?" Sasuke asked, he talked quietly into the phone he didn't want anyone around him to hear.

His mother sold him, and then he was passed around. Sold left and right for a full week.

There were a few things he knew about that incident. One that his body was sold multiple times in the span of a week. He knew that multiple people raped, molested, touched him, a seven year old. He knew they found him in a alley way bloody and messy, half alive. He knew his mother tried to pin it on his father. But he doesn't remember the rapes or the people who invaded him. It happened he knew that because of the doctors. But he doesn't remember it at all and he's happy he doesn't. He knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. There was just no way, his mind would break. He was only a child.

He remembers seeing his father run into the hospital room crying, he remembers him hugging him and more crying. Itachi standing at his side staring at him. After that he was put into countless therapy sessions. Tons of people asking him questions, there were other kids there too.

When he reached his teens he stopped going, he was told of the incident. No one seemed surprised that he couldn't remember anything. Repression and denial are very powerful against the mind.

He thought if he heard what happened to him he would remember. But he didn't, he's only aware that it happened. He wants to keep it that way.

His father made him go back to a therapist when he was 17 because he was having bad dreams again. The therapist recommended he went to inpatient housing. He went. He hated it. Because he didn't have the problems the others had. He never cut himself, he never attempted to end his life, he didn't use sex as a coping mechanism. He was just having trouble sleeping.