Forget Me Not✓| Yoonmin(+18)

chapter seven (part three)

trigger warning: rape

I try to sing a song to myself in my head and tune out his hateful comments while taking off my last piece of clothing. It's not the first time I have to let him do it because of the knife. It's like I'm not even in my body anymore. I don't feel him slapping my mouth with the back of his hand for not kissing him. I don't taste the blood on my lips.

"you little whore. Staying out till midnight?! Found someone else to fuck you? I'll pound you so well you won't need anyone else!"

I actually panic. He usually uses my thighs to get off but it seems like he has other plans this time.

"I thought you wanted to keep the baby...seems like sluts like sex better than their children!"

I start to thrash when his fingers touch my anus but stop and whimper when a sharp pain goes through my side. Drops of blood drip on the floor and I start to cry. What do I do? What do I do?

I bite my lips to control my sobs when he puts two fingers in me dry. The pain is unbearable and I'm scared for my baby. The knife is still at the part where it ripped through the skin, not letting me move an inch or I'll hurt myself more. I want to scream and ask for help so the nice lady next door would hear me but I'll be dead before anyone finds out...we'll be dead.

I can't even breathe at the pain of him entering me. I gag at the intrusion in my body and soul. Seeing him naked on top of me makes me put my head to the side and throw up bile since there's nothing in my stomach. He fastens his pace at this and I feel like he's ripping me apart. He grips my hair hard and makes me look at him.

He's sweating and breathing heavily. I shut my eyes but he pushes the knife making me open my eyes in horror. He smirks and bends down as far as my baby bump lets him. "enjoying this sweetheart? They fuck you like your uncle does?"

I gag and throw up again while my body shudders. The pain is getting worse and I think I feel something down there...am I bleeding? Is it the baby?

I sob loudly but don't move; it'll only be worse. He grabs my neck and chokes me roughly. My vision is blurring and my senses go dull while I feel his movement become erratic and he...he releases in me!

I scream but nothing comes out since he's still pushing down at my throat and thrusting to ride out his release. please...just kill me already!

I pass out from lack of oxygen...

I'm back to the present. I'm still in the place I passed out. He's dressed and passed out with his whiskey bottle in his embrace. I slowly put my clothes on and try many times before I can stand on my legs. I feel the dried blood on my entrance. I can't go to the doctor since I don't have any money. I can only hope my baby's ok through the movements.

I'm calm...too calm if you ask me. Making choices are hard but now I only have one way to go.

It's almost time for my exam...I just need to get something before I go. I don't even need a pen for the test. I'll just have to make sure I'm as far as possible from him.

I don't even bother to clean up. I just limp to school with my head down, lips chapped and hair a mess. My head is dizzy although I'm used to not eating properly for days.

I just focus on getting through the school gates. Not paying attention to the looks and whispers. I just need to make everything right for me and my baby. I'm not even scared. It's all gonna be ok.

I enter the first restroom and go to one of the two stalls. I sit on the toilet seat and pain shoots through my lower body part. I take out the brand new blade and pull my sleeve up. We'll just lose consciousness slowly and he won't feel a thing. It won't be worse than living.

I make the first cut on my wrist but it's too shallow. A few drops of blood go down my wrist but not enough to end this. Funny how it's only my organs functioning now...they just need a little push. I'm not even aware of my surroundings anymore. I put the blade in the same place and deepen the cut. It burns but feels good. It means I'm doing it right.

I take a shuddering breath and put the blade on the green vein visible through my thin wrist. Suddenly there's a kick at the door and it almost hits me while opening, making me sink the blade deeper with glossy eyes. The baby is moving non-stop and fast and a pair of shocked brown eyes are on me. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it again. My voice is scratchy. "pretend you didn't see this."

I try to close the door again with the hand that's dripping with blood now but this time he comes towards me and takes the blade from my weak hand, throwing it in a trashcan nearby. He takes my hand and makes me stand up. I immediately fall down from weakness and he follows. I sob weakly. "just end it...please!"

He's staring into my eyes with horror, crying with me. I think I would too if I saw myself through his eyes.

*

Aunt bora leaves us after that, Yoongi forcing me to lay down again, drawing the curtains to limit the light. He sits with distance beside me, but on the thin cover not under. He scrolls through his phone. Keeping quiet to let me fall asleep. I sneakily get closer to him, feeling my fever go down and needing warmth. I fall asleep trying to close the distance.

:((