Forget Me Not✓| Yoonmin(+18)

chapter eighteen (part three)

He gets a little serious suddenly. "daddy...I want to see my other daddy but...but...I don't want to be alone with him."

I feel bitterness at his scared eyes but keep my smile. "of course baby...you know you don't have to if you don't want to, right?"

He nods. "my friends' mommies and daddies always come to our shows...both of them...I want both my daddies too...but...kids make fun of me because I don't have a mommy."

He seems so lost and confused. I never fully explained to him what it means to have two dads and I never made him ready for the insults that may be thrown his way.

I try to explain to him the best I can. "joon...people don't always love someone from the opposite sex." He's more confused now, looking like I'm taking a foreign language so I try again. "boys don't always want to marry girls and it's the same for girls. It's love anyway. I liked your daddy and he liked me. that's why we had you. there may be kids have two mommies though you may not have seen one yet."

It seems like he understands what I say to some extent but his pout is still there. "misun says I'm weird because I told her I came out of your tummy and...and her mommy told me to stay away from misun. why don't I have a mommy?"

I swear at her in my head because he's crying again and looking up at me, desperate for a logical explanation that doesn't exist.

I shush him and kiss his wet cheeks. "because not everyone has and should have mommies like misun...some daddies like me can have babies out of their tummies. we aren't many and they don't get how it works and why. that's why they don't understand...I told you before, people fear what they can't understand."

He hiccups, his body trembling from the force of his sobs. "but...but no one's playing with me...anymore and...and it's been weeks! Why do they...why do they do that? I'm not...not scary."

I only find out I'm crying when his small hands try to wipe them. I feel so much hatred inside me. I didn't know he was going through so much pain and not telling us.

I feel resentful towards the people who can isolate a child and treat him like this. I want to hurt them so badly.

"joon listen to me. it's not important. You'll find other friends...better friends. If they don't play with you it's because they don't deserve you. don't be sad over it."

He pleads while sobbing. "I do...don't wanna go there anymore!"

I nod quickly, putting his head on my chest. "of course baby. Whatever you want." he smiles a little, kissing my cheek with blushed cheeks. "I didn't mean I want a mommy...I love you daddy...more than a mommy. please don't be sad."

I laugh but it comes out in sobs. "I know baby I know...daddy loves you too."

Back I England people were more open to the idea of femiculus and there were less homophobic parents. Joon was young too and didn't talk much about it so not many found out over the years...but now he's older and talks about me and his father and people here can't take that. I should've seen this coming...

But what should I have done? Tell him to stay quiet and ashamed of me and himself? That's not how I wanna raise him.

He falls asleep in my arms, crying while I try soothing words to calm him down and he tells me more of what has happened at school, and I don't sleep till morning, my heart full of pain and confusion.

***

"what do you mean he's not going? And why do you look like shit?"

I chuckle weakly at him. My head hurts so much I feel like it's being hammered. My eyes are red and puffy with bags under them and I'm so pale...but I've made a decision while staying up all night.

I crack an egg and put it in the pan. "he came to me last night...crying. He's told his friend about his gay parents and me giving birth to him. she told her parents and those shits are now treating my baby how they deserve. He said none of the kids play with him anymore and he sits there alone all day...those fuckers even told him he's weird and they want him to stay away from their kids."

I put the egg into a plate and look at him sideways to see his reaction. He seems confused but it's slowly starting to turn into anger and sadness. "I'll fuck them up so bad they'll..."

He stops when a sleepy joon wanders into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes with his small fists. He quickly picks him up and seats him in his chair, kissing his cheek and cheerfully talking to him to make him feel better.

I put his plate in front of him. He's still sleepy, only nodding to tae. "baby we're gonna go out today, the three of us. How does that sound?"

He smiles hesitantly. "I don't have to go to school?"

I shake my head. "no honey, not unless you want to go."

He frantically shakes his head and puts a big bite of the egg in his mouth. Tae coos at him and kisses him so much joon giggles with his greasy mouth covered in egg yolk. I take in a deep breath, not aware I've been holding it since last night, waiting for the sound of his laughter.

***

He sounds so excited I can't help but smile. "oh god...what should I get him? What does he like? What if he doesn't like me? what if he thinks I'm lame? oh god, I'm freaking out!"

I chuckle at him and fold the clean clothes on the bed, holding the phone between my shoulder and ear. "don't freak out. He's a nice kid. He may be distant at first but he's always wanted to see you so he's gonna warm up to you in no time."

He's quiet for seconds. "he...he wanted to see me...before all this?"

"of course. He's always been so curious who you are so you'll be fine. Don't get him big shiny gifts just something so he knows you cared enough ok? Just try to be nice to him and interact with him the way he leads you."

He exhales shakily. "ok..ok I got this. so send me the time and the address that's ok for you ok?"

I put some clothes in my closet, taking the rest to tae and joon's room. "aren't you like super busy? I searched your name and it said you model in other countries too."

He laughs. "didn't think you would care enough to do this...yes I am but you guys are more important so I'll cancel if I have any plans."

I close joon's closet and hold the phone in my hand. "that's not ok. Tell me when you're free the next week and we'll make it work."

He seems so happy. "ok! I gotta go, my stylist is gonna kill me if I'm late one more minute."

I say goodbye to him and hang up, finishing the work in the house to go and confront Yoongi after three days. It's enough time to cool down, right?