Forget Me Not✓| Yoonmin(+18)

chapter twenty five (part three)

I sit beside him on the bed, flinching at the way he's frowning in his sleep, curled into himself. Jimin never sleeps like this. he always takes up too much space by sleeping like a starfish.

I cover my face with my hands, leaning forward and trying to compose myself.

I was thinking and reviewing everything last night and as much as I hate to admit it, I completely lost myself last night and though I knew even as it was happening that it's wrong, I couldn't calm down and think rationally. That's what scared me the most and I don't think I can ever forget the heartbreak and disappointment in jimin's eyes.

I press the palm of my hands to my eyes cause I've cried enough and I don't want to freak him out.

"yoon?"

His voice is deeper than normal, scratchy, probably from crying. I put my hands down, trying to smile at his confused face. "hey."

I try to ignore the fact that there's evidence of another person sleeping on the bed, another scent which is agonizingly similar to taehyung's on the bed. It's taking everything in me not to scream.

He sits up, rubbing his face. "here to apologize or yell more?" I inhale sharply. "apologize...and I want you to do it too."

He's looking at me with narrowed puffy eyes. "for what?" I gulp, not knowing why I decided to argue again but what's done is done. "cause you didn't discuss inviting him to my...well it's our house but you know how I am after surgeries. I'm not into social gatherings at my best form."

His eyes have a glint to them and he's...smiling?

"our house? Do you mean it?" I cough to hide my awkwardness, looking away. "yes but is that all you got from me rambling on?"

He scoots closer to me on the bed, wrapping his arms around my neck and resting his head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry about it. you're right about my bad timing...and I should've discussed it with you first. Now your turn." He murmurs against my neck, making me shudder.

I glance at the other side of the messy bed, trying to keep my sanity in check. I've never felt like losing my temper like this...guess jealousy brings out another shitty side of me.

"I'm...sorry for yelling at you and saying those things...I didn't mean them...but...he's so close to you and...I don't know if it's normal for me to be so...insecure about your relationship."

He moves again, now sitting comfortably on my lap. I inhale his scent, happy to have him in my arms again. "I know you are but...you can't be like this. you can tell me when you feel upset about it and I'll try to keep it in mind but you can't expect to control everything about my life." I'm happy he can't see my face now cause I'm sure I look a little mad when I know I shouldn't be.

"but...can't you just be less...touchy with him? and...I'm so sorry I'm saying this but...did he sleep here last night?"

He removes himself from me, sitting with a distance that makes my heart drop in my chest. I really ruined it now. He's frowning, seeming tense. "are you accusing me...are you saying I'm cheating on you?" the disbelief and hurt in his voice make me anxious. My hands are clammy and my heartbeat is so loud I barely hear anything beside it.

"NO...no I'm not...but...I can't touch you without having a fucking panic attack and...and it's killing me! I'm sorry...I'm so sorry I didn't mean to sound like that...I'm afraid you...I'm so fucking scared you'll get tired of my shit!"

I'm sobbing again, fresh tears burning my face as they come down and my chest is constricted, making it hard to breathe. All I feel is fear and then more fear.

He hugs me again, crying himself. "oh my god baby...why don't you tell me when you're feeling this way?... I'm never gonna leave you min Yoongi! Even if I have to live like a saint for the rest of my life I DON'T FUCKING CARE! Sex isn't everything..."

I sniffle, hiding my face in his chest while a few butterflies flap their wings in my stomach when I hear his firm and serious tone. "I'm sorry for being this way...I promise I'll get better...you're so...you're everything to me and I won't last a day if you...if you decided I'm not enough!"

He sighs, kissing my head and it calms me down a bit. "yoongi baby...you're more than enough. Did you forget I was the one who practically threw myself at you even when you literally rejected me? now look where we are...I'm the lucky one between us and I won't trade your grumpy ass for the world!"

I chuckle breathlessly at this, coming up to look at his kind eyes. He wipes my face with his sleeves, giggling out of nowhere. "I wanna kiss you but I have morning breath!"

I don't let him get up, needing to assure myself that we're ok, and lean forward to connect our lips. He immediately goes soft, responding to my kiss with his small hands cupping my face.

My negative thought won't magically disappear but I hope he'll be my savior....

"by the way, we were talking last night and he fell asleep on my bed. That's it."

I lean back, avoiding his eyes in embarrassment. "I know...I'm sorry I made you explain it like that."

He smiles. "it's ok. Let's go eat breakfast."

I smile back at him. "I brought the pizza you made last night...maybe we could eat it for lunch today?"

how do I fix my sleep hours :((