Forget Me Not✓| Yoonmin(+18)

chapter twenty eight (part two)

I didn't think I would be interested in gossip that much but now I'm hooked on the drama. "what reason? Does he have erectile dysfunction?" I laugh at my own lame joke but he only looks at with disappointment, probably wondering why he's even with me.

When I reach down to clean him down there, he gasps. "nooo!" I'm dumbfounded. Did I finally fuck some shame into him?

His cheeks are pink. "i'll get a boner if you touch me down there and I'm not in the mood." I laugh at his pout. "ok...then do it yourself. I'm gonna get you a towel."

***

It's been two days since I've been back and I've done nothing but cry myself to sleep every day. Joon called me once,crying about how I left him without saying goodbye and how he wanted to go to Disney land with me...it was really hard not to cry along with him. for completely different reasons.

I'm still pretty shaken up about the harsh way he rejected me...he always verbally rejected me when I came on too strong but this time, he humiliated and degraded me, making me feel worthless.

I hadn't fully grasped the depth of his sexuality before that and it was painful...

I've never been rejected like this in my whole life and I know I sound spoiled but I don't know how to deal with it.

So I'm crashing at Yoongi and Jimin's place shamelessly, sleeping on the bed that joon sleeps in when he stays here.

I hear the sound of hushed conversation outside and hope it's not about me or that I'm not the reason of their argument since Yoongi's been nothing but nice to me though I think we both feel a little awkward around each other.

There's a knock on the door, following Jimin. "hey kook?... I brought you dinner cause I thought you're not in the mood to come out." He knows tae did something...did he tell him what he did?

I sit up just as he sits beside me on the bed, putting the tray full of mashed potatoes and two pieces of broccoli on my lap...just like what joon eats.

I'm sure I look like shit but he doesn't comment on it. instead, he eyes-smiles at me. "I put cheese in yours to cheer you up a bit." I chuckle weakly. He sees me like Joon...age-wise.

"sorry to bother you two like this...I just don't wanna be alone." He smiles reassuringly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "you're not. If you're worried about Yoongi, he's no problem with you here. Actually, he was a bit worried about you and sent me to talk to you."

I squint my eyes at him, not believing. "are you telling the truth?" he giggles. "do you think that low of my boyfriend? He's nice...though a bit grumpy...ok maybe a lot but that's for me to handle." I laugh with him, feeling a bit better after seeing his playful behavior.

I wish I had a relationship like that with tae...

Tears fill my eyes again and I wipe them quickly, not wanting to worry him. "so...rry...I'm a l...little overwhelmed...nothing serious." I'm fucking stuttering again.

He hugs me sideways, cooing at me with his chin on my shoulder. "awwww...it's ok...do you wanna talk about what happened?...the reason you came back so early?"

I can tell him...I don't have any friends beside him and jin and jin sucks at giving advice.

"he...he rejected me..." He sighs, caressing my hair with a pout. "I'm sorry...what did he say? Was he rude?"

I nod, fresh tears coming down at the memory. "he...I c...can't say it out loud...b...but it was...so h...humiliating." He coos at me again, frowing as he kisses my head. I've seen this look on him when he's comforting a crying joon and the thought makes me cry harder for no reason. it's been a long time since I've seen my parents...since my mom hugged me and told me everything's ok...they cut me off after i came out.

"it's fine...you don't have to say it. I know he can be reeeeally rude if he wants too...I'm just telling you not to take it personally cause I think he's doing it to protect you from being disappointed in the future."

I sob against him, my head at his chest. "w...why? Is it...is it because he d...doesn't wanna h...have sex with me? i...I'm ok with that!" he huffs, rubbing my arm and back. "he's afraid to keep you around for a long time for nothing...he would be comfortable with having sex with you maybe after one or two years but romance? That's much more complicated since it's rare for him to feel that kind of connection. Do you get what I'm saying?"

I nod against him, rubbing my cheek on his Tshirt, wetting it. "that's a r...risk I'm willing to take...m...many relationship don't work out after y...years...how would it be different?"

He combs my greasy hair with his fingers, humming in agreement. "you're right but tae has his own fears and insecurities about this...so he's not really acting reasonably...he's afraid of opening up for years only to find out he's incapable of feeling what his partner needs him to...the expectation and pressure would be too much."

I sniffle, feeling better after listening to him. when I see it that way, tae has the right to be afraid...but can't we be afraid together?

He continues when I don't say anything, softly talking. "I can't say he likes you for obvious reasons...but you've caught his eye. You're the first person he's spared a glance at in years and that means if he ever wants to try relationships, it would be you...so if I were you, I'd give him some space and time...let him see how it is without you so he'll be tempted to chase you, huh?"

It makes sense but how do I do that? Before I open my mouth, he answers with a chuckle. "you can take joon to your house so you won't have to confront him much...let him miss you...that's how you get him to rethink his actions."

I nod, not feeling like talking. He makes me sit up straight despite my whining, chuckling as he feeds me the potatoes, cooing and giggling. "I swear to god you're just joon but like...with a lot of useless muscles."

***

"I'm ok..." Yoongi's still looking at me worriedly, rubbing my back, not convinced by my weak reply. "it could be the stress...not every throwing up's cause of morning sickness."

I tighten my hold on the toilet seat, breathing heavily. There's a sinking feeling in my stomach that tells me I've felt like this the last time too but I ignore it, not wanting a mental breakdown before I get tested.

When we set foot in the femiculus division of the clinic, I ran to the bathroom to throw up. seeing those men with big baby bumps slapped the possibility to my face...that I might go through yet another hell.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for joon but I don't wish to go through that ever again...I don't think I'm mentally and physically able too.

Or maybe my fear is in my head? This time I'm in a stable relationship with the father of my child who's welcoming the idea of me being pregnant, feeling healthy in every way...but do I want to impose discrimination and hate to my future baby? Until when can I give them love and keep them sheltered?

I wash my mouth, Yoongi's hand wrapped around my waist protectively. I'm thankful for his silence, feeling my upset stomach calm down a bit before we go out, ready for our appointment.

His friend has short black hair, round glasses and a slim body...taller than Yoongi and me by 20 centimeters.

He's charming and calm, making my wild heart calm down a bit as he explains things Yoongi told me again. I can't help interrupting him, finally exploding. "will the result be ready today?"

He smiles at my pale face, standing up and putting on gloves, pointing toward a door. "of course...just a few minutes. Come with me...and it's up to you if Yoongi comes or not cause I may have to do physical examination."

Hello :)

I have so many things in my mind but nothing feels right to say down here. I'm beginning to find out maybe I'm too much of an introvert :))