Sometimes I think, that poetry and writing will always be my only true escape.
If anything, all of these little bits on this story seem more like journal entries.
But I don't care anymore .
Sometimes it's hard being me, because so much runs through my mind.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't me
Sometimes I wish I could run away
Sometimes I just want to be nobody to everyone
My life itself just feels like one big empty promise.
Wanna know the saddest part of being me?
Waking up every fucking day, knowing that I don't mean shit to people.
Knowing I'm not someone's favorite person to talk to or spend time with.
Knowing I'm just a fucking option to everyone and im just fucking irrelevant.
Sitting here in my room and knowing damn well, that my life is a movie and I'm not even the main character in MY life.
Knowing that I'm so dull to everyone around me, and that I'm just a side character.
Knowing that I'm not fucking worth shit in my life.
It's all play pretend, it's all just out of pity.
I am nothing to no one.
I'm not even worth the simplest shit in my fucking life.
Let alone the dreams or fantasies I have.
Fuck im no one
I'm
Nothing.
Maybe I'd do everyone a favor, if after this quarantine ends,
I just pack my shit, and just fucking drive to somewhere where no one will find me.
Just be alone, god knows that's all I've ever fucking been.
Alone.
I'll just make my own life alone because I'm not worth shit.
I just want to stop breaking my own heart.
I just want to stop hurting, is that too much to ask for?
Fuck I just want to feel loved and cared for without feeling like it's out of pity or regret.
I just want to be an actual choice, and someone's first option when they think of life.
I want to make people happy.
But again, I'm just nobody.
I'm
Not worth it.
